Assuming the Worst in Others


 Have you ever thought negatively about a person or a situation based on information

you thought was accurate, but later discovered it to be wrong?

Our assumptions are the facts we don’t question.

They are the creative blind spots we take for granted.


Most of us are living with some false assumptions. For instance, many people have the

false assumption that a good marriage is built, solely, on good feelings and compatibility.

Such false assumptions can, often, lead one to disillusionment and disappointment.

Anyone who has experienced a rewarding marriage can attest to the fact that it takes hard

work, guts, perseverance, patience, tolerance, self-sacrifice, and many other

adjustments. Marriage is more... much more than good feelings and compatibility.

False assumptions lead to wrong conclusions, which can lead to wrong actions...

which can lead to major problems.

There may be missed communications between people...

and sideliners will, sometimes, hit the ground running with this hot piece of news.

They are quick to believe what they perceived.

Assumptions can very quickly take on a life of its own. 

This is especially true when we don’t stop and first get our facts straight.

Many conflicts and clashes begin with unchecked assumptions

and inaccurate perceptions.


It only takes a hot minute for incorrect perceptions to take root.

These incorrect perceptions can spread like wild fire by one loquacious person or a small

clique. Then, there are those who are notorious for embellishing. Before the news gets

old... things get piled on, either inadvertently or sometimes purposefully and escalates

into a dispute. These conflicts and clashes diminish and/or neutralize any

good that may have come before the wrongful trigger.

A classic example of arriving at the wrong conclusion based on the

wrong assumptions is found in the story of Job. Job’s friends applied

a correct principle in the wrong manner by making the assumption

that Job’s suffering came as a result of his sin or disobedience

to God. Instead of comforting Job, his friends condemned him. They assumed Job

needed correction rather than comfort.

With comforters like Job's friends…who needs enemies?

Job's friends assumed they knew what was happening to Job. They assumed that people

always got what they deserve. They assumed there was no exception. They assumed his

situation would improve if Job trusted in God. But we know from the first few chapters

of Job that Job did trust God.

Have you ever thought negatively about a person or a situation

based on information you thought was accurate, but which turned

out to be wrong?

Our assumptions are the creative blind spots we take for granted.

Our assumptions are the facts we don’t question. Assumptions are

also not always true. What we assume to be true, we act on. When

what we assume to be true turns out to be false, we end up with wrong conclusions. And

wrong conclusions can lead to wrong actions in life. Sometimes our wrong actions can

speak louder than any words.



The problem with making assumptions is that we believe

they are the truth. We make assumptions about what others

are doing or thinking, and we take it personally.

Then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our

words. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems.

Actions speak louder than words, right?

Not always...

especially if someone is acting a certain way, because they think you’re acting a certain way. 

Sounds kind of elementary,

but we do this mirroring false assumptions in our actions every day.  


May the refining and cultivating of our own lives

keep us so busy

that we have no time to criticize or assume the worst in  others... ever.





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