They may be driving a wedge...
cutting the ties that bind
between you and your family.
If your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault,
between you and him alone.
When someone interferes
with the normal flow of family relationships,
valuable time and precious moments are wasted.
There are "instigators" among us who can hamper our ability to get things done. They encourage others to have fun through the playing of games in which they can stab a another in the back.
Possibly you have already found that you have enemies. These are dangerous, vicious enemies who will use any method to defeat another as one tries to get closer to God. It seems that within minutes after one has made the decision to go with God... they find these enemies already at work. We must unmask them.
We must guard against anyone who is undermining the effectiveness of our family dynamics.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Things aren't always, quite, what they seem.
Some people desire the end result,
some people want the war,
but they need an excuse,
so they engineer things so that the other party
clearly looks like the aggressor,
in a sufficiently twisted and offensive way.
It is always interesting to uncover
exactly who did what as part of a sequence of steps
that led up to these, seemingly, monumental events.
Some are so convinced by what they think things are.
They can easily overlook the fine details
of who said what to whom just before.
It is a simple psychological principle
of how person C covertly can create a conflict
between person A and person B.
Person C quietly tells each of them a different offensive
story about each other.
"A, B said that you're taking over their house",
B, A is trying to smother you
and make you into some punk".
Sometimes that's all it takes.
If that little act of mingling remains hidden,
A and B can not easily figure out why they don't get along,
because the cause of their strife
is an exaggeration or fabrication.
"C" goes out and starts soliciting other people’s support
to their cause.
Family fights involve
more than just the two parties involved.
It involves other family members,
who are affected because
the people they love are not in harmony.
This can create bewilderment
and counter reaction
for everybody else.
Family fights hurt not only the parties involved,
but other members of the family,
who may feel that they have to take sides.
Any neutral observer might be puzzled
how a few seemingly insignificant statements
could create such a reaction.
Things may also get worse where members feel that they have to take sides, thus causing a further rift.
If it is not a deliberate attempt of instigating anger against the other, it is safe to consider it terribly dumb of "C" to twist the evidence. But, as any kind of conflict that has been created through false information, it is very hard to clear up. It is usually the worst part that sticks in people's minds, and when one is far from the actual scene, one easily mixes up who's who, and one ends up generalizing things unreasonably.
Quite often it is the crusader for one cause or another who ends up perpetrating that which they are crusading against.
Family fights can change the original fabric of family relationships.
If an issue, which caused the fight to start with, still exists, and you don’t see a solution in sight, maybe the best thing to do is to agree to disagree. Choose not to discuss the issue and let things be.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
May we accept that,
learn from it,
grow up and move on
making sure that it doesn’t happen again.