Instigators may be driving wedge 


and cutting the ties that bind 


between you and your family.

Who are instigators?


Instigators are those who deliberately stir up trouble.


There is no rhyme, reason, or emotional 


understanding with an instigator. 



They are toxic, mean-spirited, and empty people.


They are inciters, messy agitators, troublemakers, 


rabble-rousers, provocateurs, hell raisers, and meddlers 


who are notorious and well-practiced at

 

crazy-making and bullying.



Can two people 


walk together 


without 


agreeing on 


the direction?



(Amos 3:3 New Living 


Testament)

Let us be careful who we stand with.

The person we choose to stand with often indicates 


the belief we embrace.


"With" and "against"


shows not just the source, 


but position in relationship to Jesus.



Men will often stand with a friend and, 


without realizing it, 


find themselves standing "against" God and His Word.


Let us ask ourselves...


does this relationship diminish or 


benefit anyone?

We face an active enemy, every single day, who tries, 


non-stop, to manipulate situations, block our progress


(physically, mentally, and spiritually). He tries to hurt us, 


destroy us, or if nothing more... leave scars he can 


attack at willso that we become so preoccupied with 


pain, disappointment, confusion, and chaos... 


 that we are left feeling like we've had the life force 


sucked out of us. 



Satan wants to gain ground in our 


lives. Our families are under attack.


Satan's primary goal is to kill, steal, 


destroy, divide, set us up to lose, oppress us, 


cause a whirlwind of chaos, and wreak havoc. 



We can never get so comfortable 


and let our guards down. 


Let us not be fooled. Satan is a very cunning, unfair,


evil, and deceptive foe.


He wants us to fail; he wants us to quit; 


he wants us to stumble, fall, and die.


He wants to render us as losers and 


completely ineffective.



Satan is a thief, a liar, a tempter, and a schemer. 


Satan is notorious for twisting the truth, 


and seeking to devour us when we are at our weakest  


and most vulnerable.  

Jesus describes Satan as "a murderer from the beginning, 


not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. 


When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is 


a liar and the father of lies" (John 8:44). 



If we stay on guard for only the obvious attacks, 


Satan will sneak in the back door with subtle lies. 


He can lure us into unethical decisions, vices, or 


unhealthy relationships... one small step at a time. 


Satan thrives on conflict.

Satan wants nothing more than to enter certain areas 


of our lives so he can gain a stronghold. 


He will try anything to throw us off center, 


distract us from our focus, and render us ineffective 


for the Kingdom of God. 


We need to know who the enemy is. 


Satan is real, alive, crafty, and busy!


When we become so beside ourselves

 and begin to think we are invincible... 

and we can handle the tricks of Satan... 

it's time to humble ourselves, 

bring the ego down to zero, 


and cease trying to deal with the devil 


in our own strength.



Depending on God 


is basic to the Believers' life. 


We trust in and depend on God for our salvation


 (Ephesians 2:8–9). 



We depend on God for wisdom (James 1:5). 



In fact, 


we depend on God for everything 


(Psalm 104:27) and in everything 


(Proverbs 3:5–6). 



The psalmist teaches God’s reliability with 


the three-fold description 


“God is my Rock, my Fortress 


and my Deliverer” 


(Psalm 18:2).



 Let us not be fooled to think we can’t be tempted.
 

God has much to say about Satan's devious schemes.

 

And though God never tells us to be afraid,

 

God does tell us to be on guard and to live aware.



We must know his schemes and understand 


Satan's battle tactics; otherwise, 


he is going to have a field day.


The unseen battles that surround us  

are very real.

We must figure out what or who 


is drawing us.

We face an active enemy, every single day, 


who is notorious for dividing families. 


All Satan needs is to make a hairline fracture 


into the foundation of our families. 


Once he is able to penetrate the foundation… 


it's only a matter of time before the entire structure 


starts to crumble.


People who scatter the flock of Jesus 


are clearly "against Jesus."


Let us pray and ask God to 

expose the schemes of the enemy.


The wicked and divisive may believe that they 


have gotten away with their evil, but 


God sees all... 



and will judge all.



Wicked people may even fool most of the people... 


most of the time,


but they cannot fool God.  


They will eventually pay... if not in this life, 


they will pay in eternity.



At the foot of the cross... the ground is level. 

One day there will be a judgment, 

and all will be brought to light.
 

Let us ask ourselves this question:


 "Is the person we are listening to


 scattering or gathering the flock?"


The answer to that question 


will indicate the source:



 Is it God or Satan?


We may be attacked with lies from people 


we would never have believed would do such a thing... 


this is how Satan works;


 by planting accusations in the minds...


 he makes communication and reconciliation difficult.



Satan's voice will try to turn us against individuals 


who are God-fearing, faithful, and trustworthy. 


He will try to have us thinking those whom are 


trustworthy... cannot be trusted, cannot be dealt with, 


and they are the enemy, and must be fought 


or avoided. The unrighteous will sow suspicion... 


in the name of Satan’s game.



Satan and his helpers are notorious for pouring negative 


emotions into others, grounding suspicions in facts, 


at least partially, and subtly adding assumptions 


about people’s motives. 


Satan goes beyond the call of duty to create friction. 

His main objective is to have us fighting one another, 

even turning against our own team. 


We lose power and effectiveness 

when we fight against ourselves. 

And nothing could make Satan happier 

than to see us at war with each other.

Our enemy is a clever, lying, expert con artist. 


As part of his divide-and-conquer tactic, he will develop 


small seeds of dissension that are capable of destroying 


our relationships and our families.



We must watch vigilantly for Satan's efforts through the 


discernment of the Holy Spirit and not simply rely on 


our own common sense.

 Satan knows military doctrine like nobody else, 


and one of war’s basics is “Divide and conquer.”



Satan uses his preferred weapon,


 the one for which he’s named:


accusation (diabolos, the devil, means accuser).



Anytime a general can divide enemy forces,


he’s in a position to defeat them in detail.


Let is not fall for Satan's lies.

Love does not rejoice in or at 

wrongdoing.

God has a plan for our lives. 


The enemy has a plan for us too. 


Satan is determined to rob us of all the 


wondrous blessings God has for us.


We have to determine which voice 


we’re going to listen to, 


and who we will choose to follow. 


The oldest living brother and I were very close. 


In the midst of all of the family drama... his female 


companion decided she would express to me how 


much she hated me and couldn’t wait to see me living 


under a bridge. 


She did not want my brother and me to have any 


communications. My brother even told me, on many 


occasions, that she would constantly put me down...


and was very negative and dismissive about 


anything which concerned me.


I often believed that she saw our sibling relationship as 


too powerful for her to endure. So, she became hell-bent 


with poisoning it. 

 

Some people have an amazing capacity to actively micro-


manage their partners and will go over and beyond to ruin 


family relationships.

 


Consequently, she has been able to negatively influence 


my brother and his liberty. We are now divided, and the 


wedge is keeping us from standing together as a united 


front. We no longer have a close bond and neither do we 


communicate. He seems okay with these destructive 


tactics used by his toxic partner



I have not addressed my brother regarding any of the


awful chatter from his companion... because I don't 


know what to expect and do not desire to annoy, harass,


 or fight the dysfunction and possibly give the situation 


ammunition. 


I have opted to give the sibling relationship space. Maybe 


when the dust settles we can reassess the situation and get


right at the heart of this cold war. 


As it stands... this situation has drained stress levels and 


disrupted the family dynamic.


My prayer is that, God will work it all out so that we may, 


maturely, approach and resolve this sibling breakdown


 with empathy and greater compassion.

Jesus said, 


“Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed.


A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart.”


(Matthew 12:25)

Some people are remarkably susceptible 


to suspicious thoughts about others.


They never consider that the accusing voice 


in their heads might be Satan.



The Evil One knows which individuals have 


immature conflict-management skills. These 


self-centered individuals rarely go to people they harbor 


suspicions against with a humble spirit and open mind. 


Instead they become bitter, senseless, foolish, 


treacherous, and will try to draw us into a drama


battle. They will spread their suspicions to others, and 


often exaggerate for effect.



Divisive people deliberately and aggressively form 


cliques of haters who will stand with them. They will


go as far as contacting others with the aim of dividing 


and pitting one person against another. They may even 


travel from place to place with the intention of causing 


division, unrest, confusion, disharmony, and all kinds 


of vile and evil acts.

There is no limit to wicked deeds.

I appeal to you, brothers, 


to watch out for those who cause divisions and create 


obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have 


been taught; avoid them.


Proverbs 6:16-19

I was floored that my brothers, 


knowing the facts and being able to give a verbal account 


of all the events that have transpired and witnessing all of 


the degradation, the scars of abuse, and almost two 


decades of hell I have gone through with inheritances 


which were taken from me... would withhold the truth. 


They were even floored and appalled when all of these 


events transpired. 



My brothers bowed at the altar of compromise and shrunk 


into silence. Instead of standing for the truth, they both


witnessed... they remained silent. 



Too often we give in and shrink back


 into a"Go along to get along" 


mentality. 


Dishonesty comes in many shapes and sizes and 


masquerades its behavior as acceptable. Even though 


some people may be well intentioned, withholding vital 


information is the same as lying by omission.



My older brothers compromised the truth... by 

remaining silent. Sometimes silence can distort facts to 

consciously mislead and create false impressions.


  So often people sit back and say nothing when 


something really needs to be said.

The only sense I can make of the silence is... my 


brothers may fear retaliation from the main two bullies


in the family. They may fear being put through the same 


ugliness that I have gone through.

As a general rule of thumb, if our ears hear one thing and 


our eyes see another, we must face the facts...


those who provide cover for the misdeeds of others are 


just as guilty as those who perpetrate the “crime.”


One may think that staying silent keeps them from being 


involved in any conflict, but quite the opposite. Silence is 


as much an active form of communication as talking. 


Anytime we are involved in a situation, people are aware 


of all the input and lack of it. If we disapprove and don't 


say anything how helpful could that be? If the problem 


persists and we did nothing...it could be considered as 


enabling the wrong-doers. This would deem the issue as 


much our fault as the person(s) who actually caused the 


problem. We may even destroy trust and create resentment.

 

People rarely thank others for withholding vital 


information that could right a gross wrong.

It is one thing to have trouble talking about something 


and it’s another thing to create pacts of silence. 


Silence is one way of repressing the truth, locking it 


away, muffling guilt, and pretending the events never 


happened. As a result, thtruth usually gets lost over time.

Withholding vital information 


is just as damaging as lying. When one withholds relevant 


information, they are eyewitnesses to, in order to sway 


person’s judgment in some way, then it appears one is in 


fact being deceptive and promoting their own self-


interests at the expense of others


Withholding pertinent information, eye-witnessed, can 


create destructive and harmful consequences 


to and for everyone.


This is baffling!


It is, yet, 


another dismal low in our family 


dynamics.


It's amazing to see how my siblings can withdraw to 


silence... when simply speaking truth could right a wrong.


On the other hand, these same individuals will readily 


and intentionally broadcast all kinds of sensitive and 


personal information about me, at the drop of a 


hat, to people who don't even have our best interest at 


heart.

In my experience, these individuals are most inclined 


to hurt us in an attempt to gain a sense of intimacy, 


without building trust.

Personal Privacy helps individuals 

maintain their  autonomy and individuality. 


People have a right to peaceful enjoyment, without being 


disturbed or harassed by others who have voluntarily 


decided to take it upon themselves to share our personal 


affairs and issues like it's headline news or 


bestselling book.

Respecting privacy is essential to building trust between


people and for personal security reasons.


Receiving respect from others is important because it


helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves. 


Respect means that you accept somebody for who they 


are, even when they're different from you or you don't


agree with them. Respect in your relationships builds


feelings of trust, safety, and well-being.


My brother, who spoke harshly to me, knows 


that I value discretion and privacy, yet, he violated my 


privacy. 


I have chosen to live a quiet life, especially these 


days, with the epidemic of oversharing which is ever 


present in today's culture. I'm not anti-social, just 


selectively social. I choose very carefully who to 


open up with. I don't believe those who don't have my best 


interest at heart have earned the right to hear or know my 


story or my every move I make... good, bad, or 


indifferent. believe we all should be able to choose who 


we want in our inner circle or on the outskirts.



He, now, seems to be needy for acceptance


from the older brother and the klan of crabs in the barrel.

 

His acceptance seems to be based on how well he


 entertains those, inside the barrel of crabs, who don't have 


my best interest or welfare at heart with smear campaigns. 


In their presence he is full of gossipy chatter making 


unfounded slanderous remarks about me, and giving 


updates about my personal affairs.

This particular sort of betrayal and undermining is, in my 


opinion, very treacherous, damaging, and weak.


It’s as if both older brothers, by their actions and words,


are purposely searching for some kind of fault in an


attempt to destroy my reputation. 


They seem to be exerting enormous time and energies 


with slanderous remarks and criticisms of me to others.


It appears they are projecting their pain, fears, and 


limitations onto me. 


They are acting more like dream-stealers, enthusiasm 


killers, and bubble bursters who don't want me to look 


within and listen to the inner voice (my soul's calling). 


It seems like they are busying themselves by creating 


obstacles so that I am unable to celebrate my purpose for 


being here, discover my true and higher self... 


my life's purpose. 



When we spend all of our time being vindictive, 


 malicious, digging up and creating faults in others...


we are in essence in constant destroy mode


rather than building mode.

A perverted heart spreads strife and devises


malicious, vicious, vindictive, and evil scheming... 


continually.



A perverted heart consciously considers


how to do that which is hurtful to others.



A perverted heart is full of malicious, vicious, 


and vindictive scheming.



According to the Scriptures...


such people are an abomination


 in God's sight!



Those who perversely scheme


 against others in their hearts...


will reap a harvest of woe!

If my two older brothers would be honest... 


they would tell the truth and admit that 


I’ve been vilified... without cause.


I am thankful that God knows that I have not wronged 


my siblings.

 

The more people conspire and spread lies... 


the more lies can spiral into uncontrollable avalanches 


of unfounded and hurtful allegations!



I'm still confused about the events leading up to 


the relationship breakdowns with my brothers.


I’m trying to make sense out of the nonsense… 


to no avail. 


One thing I have come to realize is... it's useless to argue 


or attempt to defend ourselves when one has become 


comfortable with toxic and mean-spirited behavior.

So often people can't overcome their own barriers 


to tell the honest truth.

Most incredibly, some would rather cave and flip flop


back into the bucket of crabs so they can be liked by those 


who aggressively bullies and intimidates them into 


silence. 


As a result, some people find it easier 


to fall for anything than to stand for righteousness.


It's as if part of the initiation, back into 


the bucket of crabs, 


is to destroy my character, my zest for life, 


and sabotage my desire to walk in my calling.

Some people feel threatened if a little light is cast on 


others. They just don't want to see others succeed.

The bucket of crabs does not have a lid on it. Everyone 


could actually get out of the bucket and complement 


each other... rather than compete against each other. 


This could be easily accomplished when we decide to 


work with each other rather than against each other.


Why is it so difficult to celebrate someone else's good 


fortune and experience happiness with others? Living out 


one's artistic expression and leaping into the unknown in 


an effort to discover, uncover, and reveal the beauty 


within... is an amazing testimony of one's faith.


It's been said that "The first sign of sanity is to see 


our own advantage in someone else's good fortune."


Life is so brief. None of us are getting any younger.


We don't have time to be shackled in the dark with petty 


gossip, nit-picking, being verbally abusive, using 


manipulation and abuse tactics like name calling, 


mocking, bullying, character defamation, 


berating, and criticizing. 


Satan wants us to make it our goal... our responsibility 


to interfere, block, stop, redirect, and create drama 


and misery in the lives and affairs of others. 


This is not only unproductive... 


it is nuts!



For some reason, people think they have more time 


than we do... and we really don't. Let us always consider


cherish, and protect our time.



We need the light of God 


to shine on us... 


shackles, shame, and all. That light is the understanding 


that sets us free!



What is the driving force in your life?


What occupies your time?


What influences your conversations 


and decisions?



We are so much more than 


petty gossipers.


I believe we all have a special work to do as we are 


journeying through life. We all have something to 


contribute. I believe God is able to work through us and 


use us as a channel... an instrument for positively good 


change. 


As for me... I desire to live my greatest truth and 


consciously cultivate joy... the kind of joy that leads me 


closer to God and distancing myself from the drainers of 


joy. 


truly believe that life is worth nothing unless we do the 


work assigned to us by God. Sharing God's mighty 


kindness and love, the Good News, does a 


remarkable work in the heart, and it can change 


people's lives. 



Contrary to what some on the sidelines may say...


one does not have to be perfect to tell others about what 


they've learned and experienced about God. 


Yes, God's standard is perfection, make no mistake about 


it, but none of us are perfect... we are flawed sinners by 


birth and by choice. "There is none righteous, no not one" 


(Romans 3:10) and all have come short of the glory of 


God" (3:23). 


We must always guard ourselves against the evil one who 


attempts to put such an impossible standard on God's 


people. Even the strongest believer can become 


discouraged and give up because they don't measure up, or


they can become hypocrites who claims that they are 


perfect... when they are not.


Trust... it is not about us. It is God, Who is perfect, Holy 


and worthy to be praised. It is all about God and our 


looking to God for everything required to live this life. 


Without God we are inadequate... so imperfect. 


Think about it...


We all have an inherent gift within us... 


a loving part of our spirit that we were born with... 


a place of love which yearns to be expressed. 


This loving place yearns to contribute what it can to life. 


This is where our energies should be placed. 


We should be cultivating that loving part of our spirit. 


We should be cultivating that beautiful and meaningful 


work. God has placed wonderful talents and gifts within 


us that can serve the world in amazing ways. 

 


The wise will never diminish the pure beauty within them. 


They try to figure out what is most important in life 


and then invests most of their time in developing that 


mission. 



We all should be discovering, uncovering, and 


trying to reveal the beauty within us. 



Time is precious and does not 


discriminate. None of us can be certain


 that we have plenty of time to spend.


We often waste the glorious days of our lives in pursuing 


things which are totally insignificant. 



May we come to realize that undue concern with trivial 


matters, especially of a small-minded, unnecessarily 


unkind, juvenile and of a spiteful nature 


are unproductive and completely worthless.



We all have a calling on our lives. Let us not waste this 


precious resource engaged in activities


 that are hurtful and harmful towards others.



Every minute, someone leaves this world behind. 


Time is a limited resource. We are living years, 


months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds 


that we will never get back...


 and breathing air that we will never breathe in again.

 


Once we reach a certain age and look back on life, we 


ponder, and perhaps regret, the immense opportunity costs 


of our past relationships and the things we did.


The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to be 


useful, to have our time spent on this journey make a 


difference so that future generations may become 


empowered... eager to learn, ready to grow, 


and willing to do what is right. They will be blessed to 


benefit from the morsels we left behind... 


rather than be impaled by a life which was lived in crazy-


making.

One day life will come to an end. Think about it...


we never really know when too late is too late. 


What a shame to look back with regret that 


we didn’t live life, but wasted it.


We may waste money, but when we waste our time... 


 we’ve lost a part of our life that we cannot recoup. Our 


time is an entirely non-renewable resource. Once our time 


is gone... no matter who we are... we simply cannot get 


any more.


The time spent trying to wreak havoc in another's life...


will never return.

It may be time to take a good look at how we are spending 


our energy.


Life is very brief. Life is fleeting. We are just a mist that 


appears on the scene for a little while... 


and then we vanish.


Let us respect and cherish the joys and not leave this life 


and our assignments from God... unfinished.


When we can perceive beyond the limitations of the 


world... we come to realize we are a part of this vast 


universe and the ripples of energy we send out has the 


power to affect others in a positively good way.



As we allow the small self to die, we can live each day to 


the fullest, and humbly submit to 


God's plan and perfect Will. 



At all times, in all situations, let us try our level best 


to do what we know is right, and live in a way 


that won't end in regret.

 

Let us cherish and protect our time.



In the end, we may very well be able to 


look back on life and have few regrets 


about how we spent our time on this planet.



People are very quick to judge other people’s


shortcomings and they busy themselves, to an 


unwarranted degree, in matters without right 


or invitation. These same busybodies are 


reluctant to look internally... and evaluate their own 


affairs.



Let us silence the noise and take time to review and 


reconnect with our own truth and inner guidance and build 


a foundation within. 



It takes a lifetime to correct and fix ourselves.


Let us take an honest look, at our own life,


to see what we are leaving behind and sending ahead.



When we know who we are and what our purpose is,


 in life... we will have no interest 


in assuming the wrong lane.  



Living in sync with God... leaves a legacy 


that will bless instead of burden its recipients. 


It will enrich us... I am certain, 


throughout eternity.

What we say about others reflects on our own character. 


Specifically, when we speak unfavorably of others, it not 


only hurts the person our words are aimed at, but it also 


damages our credibility and reputation in the process.

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing 


about that person; it merely says something about the 


speaker and their inner emptiness and issues.

When our words persuade others to our point of view as to 


the faults and shortcomings of someone who is not 


present, we are taking unfair advantage of that person.

God tells us in His Word that the tongue has incredible

 power. We can use our tongue to bring blessings and life

or curses and death. 

The saying "sticks and stones can break my bones, but

words will never hurt me" is simply not true. Our tongues 

can be the most difficult thing to control and leave us with 

great regret if we use our words to hurt. 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of  your


mouths, but only what is helpful for building others 


up according to their needs, that it may benefit those 


who listen.


Ephesians 4:29

Just because there are no visible signs of scarring doesn't 


mean that one has not been wounded. 


Let us always remember... 


God holds us responsible 


for the pain we cause.

It is very disappointing to see these men, 


whom I looked up to and respected, 


have nothing to share with the world other than 


devilish gossip, lies, and pettiness.

I don’t understand what any of my siblings have to gain 


in being so hurtful and negative. These slanderous and 


hurtful attacks couldn't possibly have any redeeming value.

Whatever it is... 


Satan is having a field day blowing matters way out of 


proportion and creating a petty and devilish situation.

I am reminded, however, that the means that man takes to


 kill the character of another... becomes suicide of his own.


 No one has ever attempted to wrong another 


without being injured in return.

In the Sermon On The Mount Jesus was quite specific


 about dealing with difficult people in love and humility:


Luke 6:27-36 reminds us...


“But to you who are listening I say: 

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 


28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat 


you. 29If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them 


the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold 


your shirt from them. 30Give to everyone who asks you, 


and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it 


back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you. 


32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to 


you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33And if 


you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is 


that to you? Even sinners do that. 34And if you lend to 


those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is 


that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be 


repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, 


and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. 


Then your reward will be great, and you will be children 


of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and 


wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.