Have you ever been undermined
and/or seriously affected by the
acts or words of another?
When an immediate family member or close
Some of the deepest life wounds are those we
cannot see. Despair, discouragement,
disappointment, distrust, and even defeat
might result from these wounds. These
dynamics can become entrenched and have
a severe influence on an individual's emotional,
physical, and spiritual well-being.
Those who knowingly engage in hurtful and
malicious practices, fail to realize, they may be
successful at hurting others, but they are also
hurting and harming themselves.
"Father, forgive them; for they
know not what they do."
When we genuinely grasp how God has
forgiven us, we gain a greater understanding
of what it means to forgive others.
Forgiveness is the deliberate decision to let go of
sentiments of animosity or anger against someone
or something that has mistreated us, regardless of
whether they even deserve our forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not absolve the offender's guilt
or exonerate the offender's words or actions. In
general, forgiveness puts us on the path to greater
serenity and freedom.
If we wish to live in peace and harmony,
forgiveness may profoundly revolutionize
our hearts! Forgiveness is an amazing gift
we actually offer to ourselves.
Unconditional acts of love, mercy, compassion,
and forgiveness, even toward people who have
deceived, harmed, or insulted us, are the catalysts
that may profoundly and completely transform
and liberate us.
Forgiveness is built on a
foundation of love.
Love is also a by-product of forgiveness. Love
is the root and ultimate purpose of forgiving.
God, Who is love, came to earth in the person
of a man (Jesus) to love us, and it is through
His love that we have been forgiven. He asked
us to love one another.
'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all
your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'
The second is,
'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'
Matthew 22: 37-39
These are the most important commandments.
We often learn to love by putting it to the test
during challenging situations. Love is put to the
ultimate test when it cannot be reciprocated.
Allowing love to do its finest work in us at the
moment of our greatest anguish is the way to
recover from hurt (particularly pain inflicted
by family members and/or close friends).
If we adjusted our viewpoint and looked at
the things that make us uncomfortable, i.e.,
the ones who unfairly harmed us... and
approached it as if LOVE were testing us
rather than people, we could be more
prepared to say, "OK, love, be my teacher,
what can I learn from this injustice, rejection,
bullying, and/or pain?" What, moreover, can
I get from learning to love well?
Love is patient and kind.
It is neither envious, boastful,
or self-assured. It does not
disrespect or dishonor others,
is not self-centered, is not
easily irritated, and maintains
no record of wrongs. Love
does not take pleasure in
wrongdoing, but rather rejoices
in the truth. It always protects,
always believes, always
aspires, and always perseveres.
We get greater compassion when we can ask
God how He views the individual or
What God reveals may surprise us.
Healing may happen in phases, so just because
it comes up again doesn't imply we didn't
forgive the first time.
So let us release the forgiveness
we have been given, toward the
The act of forgiving does not
erase or justify vile and corrupt
behavior. Forgiveness keeps
one's wrongdoings from hurting
and/or destroying our hearts.
It doesn't matter if the offender deserves it or not...
the conscious act of forgiving another is our
deliberate choice to let go of negative or resentful
feelings toward them.
Forgiveness is defined in the
Bible as "the alleviation of
resentment toward proven
Prior to showing forgiveness to others, it
first takes place within our hearts.
It’s something that takes place in our
hearts before it manifests towards
If it is possible, as much as depends on you,
live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not
avenge yourselves, but rather give place to
After someone has deeply hurt us,
we choose forgiveness when we
are ready to move on...
or when the love in our hearts speaks louder
than the temporary resentment.
Forgiveness does not excuse
heinous and corrupt acts.
Forgiveness protects us from
becoming hindered by their
Yes, forgiveness is extending grace to the
offender, but more importantly, when we
forgive... we can let go of our victim role
and relinquish the control and power that the
offending person and/or situation may have
had in our lives.
Unforgiveness is a form of mental torment.
We think we're hurting the other person when,
in truth, we're injuring ourselves by postponing
cold, harsh, bitter, and resentful. Unforgiveness
can have physical, emotional, mental, and
spiritual consequences. Yes, we may feel justified
in our indignation; yet, we must choose between
our rage and frustrations... from emotions.
When we cease to forgive, we are choosing
to hang on to the heinous act. We focus on our
anguish and opt to relive the offending moment
whenever the offender comes remotely close.
Unforgiveness is a roadblock
and a hindrance.
Unforgiveness could become a self-imposed
impediment... a heavy and burdensome load
which could produce physical weariness,
spiritual brokenness, and emotional
Unforgiveness stagnates, immobilizes, and
in some circumstances completely paralyzes
us. It ties us to our past scars and prevents us
from experiencing the full life God intended
When the person who has been wounded
delays forgiveness or carries hatred toward
others, it frequently worsens the situation for
the one who has been hurt.
According to one saying,
anger is like ingesting poison
and expecting the other person
When we cling to the overpowering emotions
of indignation, sadness, and depression, we
continuously injure ourselves and exacerbate
the damage done to our souls.
It is our decision to hurt or heal.
It is extremely costly to live in unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness has a detrimental impact on our
emotions and health in a number of ways and
can have a variety of undesirable repercussions,
3 - Dealing with depression
4 - Anger triggers
5 - Missing out on enjoyable experiences in life
When we stop nursing the offense, we benefit
ourselves the most. Let us stand firm against
the devil's attempt to poison our minds and spirit
However legally or morally justified we might feel or be,
rather than allowing bitterness and resentment to poison
our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, we can
forgive the offender, release the burden, and
experience greater peace in our soul.
God’s forgiveness is limitless and is
as constant as our need for it. God's
forgiveness is not conditional,
wavering, or subject to theft or
misappropriation. God's forgiveness
is thoroughly complete.
Jesus' forgiving heart is
one of His most defining
On the cross… Jesus said…
for they know not what they do."
Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He
became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.
Jesus forgave those who
had offended Him and
refused to succumb to
bitter sentiments and/or
Following Jesus' example is
ultimately the best path to healing.
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,
but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
‘It is Mine to avenge;
I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Because we have been
forgiven, we must forgive
Therefore, let this be our duty
Others will mistreat us from time to time.
Our critics may purposefully
make us feel hesitant to forgive.
Some of us are led to believe or believe
that forgiveness entails pretending the
offense never happened, condoning the
offense by wiping the slate clean, or
allowing others to take advantage of us
and subject us to the same rude, devilish,
inconsiderate, emotionally toxic,
mean-spirited, unreasonable behavior
over and over again and trusting them.
On the contrary,
forgiveness does not imply
minimizing the wrongdoing,
denying reality, or forgetting
and excusing the harm or hurt
inflicted on us.
Forgiveness brings a sense of peace
that helps us to go on with life and
not get swallowed up by bitterness
or a sense of victimhood.
Forgiveness can put the darkness behind us and keep us
from being consumed with anger. It can set us free from
the hurt and/or harm caused by another and loosen the
clutches of grudges, stress, and bitterness.
We forgive because a wrong
has been done. Forgiveness
brings rest to the weary,
comfort for the hurting,
solace to the heavily laden
and rest for the soul.
Forgiveness is difficult to achieve, especially when the
person who has hurt us refuses to admit wrongdoing;
if we do not practice forgiveness,
we may be the onewho suffers the
We forgive, not to set the
only God can save people.
We forgive because
God wants to set us free!
Forgiveness is intended
and have learned a valuable life lesson.
We must make a heartfelt decision to
forgive, regardless of the offenses or the
offender's lack of remorse. We must
forgive simply because God has forgiven
us through Jesus Christ, and we do not
want Satan's tormenting works to continue.
When we forgive, we can remember
without being dis-eased by
Forgiveness does not change the
past, but it does free us from the
pain and/or harm caused by
We can bind and loosen the grips of grudges,
stress, and bitterness when we forgive those
who have hurt or harmed us.
We can sleep in peace and wake up every
morning with joy and lightness in our hearts
when we forgive and relinquish the right to
seek personal vengeance. This can help us
maintain and/or restore our peace of mind, as
well as improve our overall health and
Forgiveness only takes
one... that is us!
We are not required to go to our
offender in order to forgive them.
Forgiveness is a personal affair
between us and God.
God is aware of the truth. He
understands how we were treated
Forgiveness takes placebetween
the person who has been hurt
It is best to sincerely forgive
the offender, in our hearts,
We are not always required to inform
the offender that we have forgiven them.
Self-righteously proclaiming our gracious
forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be
forgiven may be a deception designed to make
them feel guilty. It is also a source of pride.
Forgiveness does not depend on
the behavior or repentance of
the offender. Forgiveness is
handing justice over to God. It
is the returning to God the right
to take care of justice.
God closely watches all mankind,
and God is able to bless us with
mercies for each of our woes.
With God we are able to pass safely through the sea
of distress and forgive those who have wronged us.
God is able to control, overcome, quiet, and subdue
God has the benefit of being able to see into
our hearts to measure the sincerity of our remorse.
When we humbly cry out to God... God allows us
to let go, lead the change, and move forward with
a lighter heart and greater peace.
Yes, forgiveness is grace
extended to the offender,
but it is more important for us...
than the offender.
When our intentions are pure, we can truly
accept forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness
allows us to heal emotionally, spiritually, and
Forgiveness does not diminish us; rather, it grows
and strengthens us. It actually acts like fertilizer
to repair, restore, rebuild, and revitalize us. It is
excellent mental and spiritual natural remedy.
We forgive, not to set the offender free –
only God can save people. We forgive because
God wants to set us free!
Forgiveness releases us from the heavy and burdensome
clutches of resentment, depression, and possibly high
When we forgive and relinquish the right
to seek personal revenge... we can sleep in
peace and wake up every morning with joy
and lightness in our hearts.
Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness
is based on grace... not our works.
Forgiveness doesn’t imply that the person
should still be welcomed in our lives. We
can forgive even if we never can get along
with them again, we can forgive.
Forgiveness entails forgiving ourselves
for allowing others to hurt us. It means we
have made peace with the pain.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but in
forgiving, we learn about the heart of God.
We might be completely justified on a human
level to be upset, angry, and embittered, but
those feelings, emotions, and anger are not
what God intended for our souls.
Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen
process by which the injured and/or wounded
party experiences a change in heart and attitude
regarding an offense.
It liberates us from negative and immobilizing
emotions such as bitterness, rage, and
vicious, vindictive, maliciousness.
God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us.
This releasing opens the door to greater
understanding, greater intelligence, as well as...
peace of mind, body, and spirit.
One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity
is when we are able to let go of negative
emotions and allow the higher self to wish
the offender well... even if the relationship is
There will be times when others
commit wrongs against us.
God wants each of us to capture
any demonic strongholds that
hold us captive.
Forgiveness breaks the
strongholds of the enemy.
Forgiveness does not mean minimizing the wrong,
denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the harm or
hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that
helps us to go on with life and not get swallowed up
by bitterness or a sense of injustice.
Anytime we undergo something
difficult... forgiveness helps us to
become a better person...
even when it hurts.
Forgiveness paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual,
and physical healing. Forgiveness does not diminish us...
contrarily... forgiveness grows us. It actually works like
fertilizer to repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and revive
us. It is great medicine for the mind, body, and soul.
There is a lot of misinformation out there
that does not accurately or completely
represent the facts or reality of how the
genuine process of forgiveness works.
We frequently believe that forgiveness and
wound healing should be instantaneous, but
this is not always the case.
Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through
different lenses, but it’s not the Healer,
We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or
sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean
we haven’t forgiven the person.
Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior
or declare that person is justified or not guilty of
wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do
with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that
frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.
The weight of anxiety, grappling with hurt
feelings, and the harm inflicted upon us will be
lifted from us when we let go and let God be
God over the situation.
May we all come to realize that imposing
unforgiveness on others serves no purpose.
Many people believe they have not fully
forgiven because their trust has not been restored.
On the contrary,
trust must be earned
rather than expected.
The offender must be willing to pay the
price for their actions by dealing with the
Yes, we should be cautious of those who
knew we'd be hurt... and
they did it anyway!
Calling someone to forgiveness does not
obligate us to subject ourselves to the same
mean-spirited, toxic individuals who look
for our flaws, delight in our pain and suffering,
and are deeply offended by our joy and/or
Forgiveness does not imply immediate reconciliation.
Some toxic relationships will need to be distanced
or removed from our lives. Even if the offender has
already shut us out, we won't have to shut them out
completely in many cases.
"They will be held accountable
according to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30.
The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months,
even years after the fact. It is something people often get
confused with or equate to forgiveness.
Genuine trust doesn't develop
overnight and neither should it.
Trust is an ongoing process. It
is not just given. It is shared
and developed over time.
Some destructive abusers believe they
must be right, negative, and demanding in
order to keep the offended in an apologetic mode.
Some of our naysayers appear to enjoy wrestling,
dragging, and browbeating us into their negative
emotional drama. They treat negativity and drama
as if they were oxygen.
Some abusers are like pigs whose main goal is to
get us as filthy as they are.
It has been said that we should...
"Never wrestle with pigs. You
both get dirty, and the pig
This metaphorical adage cautions us not to
start engaging, indulging, or plot against
disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious critics.
If or when we do, we can expect to be smeared
In many cases, we must do
ourselves a favor and love
some people from a distance.
As we grow older, we become
more aware of what we require
and what we must circumvent.
Knowing when to let go and walk away from
people and circumstances that threaten our
peace of mind or produce unpleasant, poisonous,
unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome
spiritual drama is a sign of spiritual maturity.
Some people tend to believe that when
someone does something hurtful to us, they
are quick to assume that we must forgive and
forget... that everything is fine... and that we
can return to business as usual.
They are quick to assume... if the offender
does not apologize or continues to harm us,
our job is to ignore everything and turn the
While God instructs us to forgive others,
He never instructs us to continue to subject
ourselves to those who have wounded us and
violated our trust.
We do not have to tolerate, nor should we
leave ourselves open to disrespect or abuse.
There is no reason to like being around
mean-spirited people who hurt us.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two very
different things. Reconciliation and restoration
are ongoing processes. Forgiveness entails
letting go of any resentment, bitterness, or
We can (and should) forgive those who sin
against us without becoming stuck in the pain.
Forgiveness does not make the past disappear.
The wisdom from on high helps us understand
that what the offender did was wrong.
God has a way of demonstrating that we can't
change the past. We can, however, accept
situations in our lives as teachers, whether
good, bad, or indifferent, who teach us lessons
we would not have learned otherwise.
The main takeaway is to let go and let God be...
regardless of the severity or number of wrongs
committed against us by others.
Always remember and never forget:
A festering soul wound allows Satan and his
robbing, destructive evils to enter. Let us not
leave any room for rage/Satan to take us hostage.
Forgiving teaches us about
On a human level, we are completely justified
in being upset, angry, and disheartened, but those
feelings, emotions, and anger are not what God
intended for our souls.
Let us forgive so that we can fully embrace our
calling. Forgiveness is not solely about the other
person. Forgiveness is synonymous with soul
Whatever the offender has done, we can reclaim
our peace of mind, creative energy, joy, and
personal power when we forgive them and let
go of any negative emotions we may have.
Forgiveness comes from God.
When we forgive others... it is much
like an earthly reflection of God.
In His Love,