When someone we love hurts us... the gravity of the


physical and/or verbal wounds can leave painful 


life-long scars. These wounds can stay open and leave


 one with lasting feelings of anger, defeat, down-


heartedness, bitterness, resentment, and even thoughts


 of hateful counter-blows. The emotional, physical, and 


Spiritual impact from these wounds can take root and


 destroy one's peace of mind, body, and soul.

Satan's target is our mind!

Satan's weapons are blatant lies!


Unforgiveness is a heavy, cumbersome load we carry 


which causes physical burn-out, spiritual weakness, and 


emotional exhaustion.

Unforgiveness hinders us. It ties us down to past hurts and 


robs us of the full life God intends for us.


Unforgiveness hinders, stagnates, immobilizes and in 


some cases it can totally paralyze us. It ties us down to past


 hurts and robs us of the full life God intends for us.


Withholding forgiveness carries with it heaviness of mind, 

body, and spirit. It often hurts us more than it hurts 

the offender. 

The heaviness of unforgiveness can fester into bitter 

thoughts and actions. Those bitter roots can rise up and 


leave openings for Satan to derail us. 


We help ourselves most... when we stop nursing the 


offense. Let us resist the devil in his attempt to poison 


our mind and spirit with bitterness.

However legally or morally justified we might feel or be, 


rather than allowing bitterness and anger to pollute our 


physical, mental, and spiritual well-being... 


we can forgive the offender and release the burden and 


realize greater peace in our soul. 

Forgiveness is divine, it comes from 

God. It is a central part of God’s heart.

God’s forgiveness is never-ending, and is as constant 


as our need for forgiveness. God's forgiveness is not 


conditional, wavering, or subject to being embezzled or 


misappropriated. God's forgiveness is total and complete.

One of the greatest attributes of Jesus 



is His forgiving heart.


On the cross… Jesus said… 



"Forgive them… 



for they know not what they do."

Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He 


became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.

Jesus forgave those who had wronged Him and did not 


become a slave to hurt feelings and resentments. 


Ultimately, the path to healing is to follow Jesus' example.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,


but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:


 ‘It is mine to avenge; 


I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 


Romans 12:19 

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the 

heel that has crushed it.”

― Mark Twain

We must forgive because 



we have been forgiven.


May this be our responsibility toward Christ.


There will be times when others commit wrongs against 


us. We must make a decision to forgive from the heart 


regardless of the offenses, and regardless of the lack of


 remorse of the offending party. We must forgive simply


 because we have been forgiven by God in Jesus Christ, 


and because we do not want to leave any open doors for


 the tormenting works of Satan.


Our critics can often leave us feeling a little apprehensive


 about forgiving. Some of us are made to believe or feel 


that forgiveness means pretending the offense never 


happened, condoning the offense by wiping the slate 


clean, or allowing others to take advantage of us and 


once again expose ourselves to what could be the same


rude, devilish, inconsiderate, emotionally toxic, mean-


spirited, unreasonable behavior and trusting them again.



To the contrary... forgiveness does not mean minimizing 


the wrong, denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the 


harm or hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of 


peace that helps us to go on with life and not get 


swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.


Forgiveness can put the darkness behind us and keep us 


from being consumed with anger. It can set us free from


 the hurt and/or harm caused by another. It can loosen the 


clutches of grudges, stress, and bitterness.


Forgiveness brings rest to the weary, comfort for the 


hurting, solace to the heavily laden and rest for the soul.

We forgive, not to set the offender free… only God can 


save people. We forgive because 


God wants to set us free!

Forgiveness is for us. We forgive because a wrong was 


committed. Forgiveness is a gift to our heart. It does not 


erase, forget, excuse, give permission to continue hurtful 


behaviors; nor is it condoning bad behavior, or pretending 


the hurtful past didn’t happened. Neither is forgiveness 


pretending it is okay or deleted from our memory, instead, 


we are set free from carrying a painful burden of spirit and 


we have garnered a valuable life lesson. Forgiveness is 


when we can remember without the dis-ease of anger.


Forgiveness does not change the past, but it can certainly 


set us free from the hurt and/or harm caused by another. 


When we forgive those who hurt or harmed us, we can


 bind and loosen the clutches of grudges, stress, and 


bitterness.

When we forgive and relinquish the right to seek personal 


revenge... we can sleep in peace and wake up every 


morning with joy and lightness in our hearts. This in and 


of itself can help maintain and/or restore our peace of 


mind and improve our overall health and well being. 

Forgiveness only takes one... 


that's us! 


Forgiveness is something that takes place between the 


one who has been hurt and God. 

When our intentions are pure... we are genuinely able 


to embrace forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness 


paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual, and 


physical healing.



Forgiveness does not diminish us... 


contrarily... forgiveness grows us.


 It actually works like fertilizer to repair us, restore us, 


rebuild us, and revive us. It is great medicine for the 


mind and soul. 


We forgive, not to set the offender free – 


only God can save people. We forgive because 


God wants to set us free!

Forgiveness releases us from the heavy and burdensome 


clutches of resentment, depression, and possibly high 


blood pressure.

When we forgive and relinquish the right to seek personal


 revenge... we can sleep in peace and wake up every 


morning with joy and lightness in our hearts. 


Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness 


is based on grace... not our works. 


God closely watches all mankind, and God is able 


to bless us with mercies for each of our woes. 



With God we are able to pass safely through the sea of 


distress and forgive those who have wronged us. 


God is able to control, overcome, quiet, and subdue our 


enemies.



 God has the benefit of being able to see into our hearts to 


measure the sincerity of our remorse. When we humbly 


cry out to God... God allows us to let go, lead the change, 


and move forward with a lighter heart and greater peace.



Yes, forgiveness is grace extended to the offender, but it is 


more important for us... than the offender. 

Forgiveness does not depend on the behavior or 


repentance of the offender. Forgiveness is handing justice 


over to God. It is the returning to God the right to take


 care of justice.


Yes, forgiveness is grace extended to the offender, but it is 


more important for us... than the offender. 


Forgiveness doesn’t mean that person should still be 


welcomed in our lives. We can forgive even if we never 


can get along with them again.


Forgiveness means forgiving ourselves for allowing others 


to hurt us. It means we have made peace with the pain.


It is best to sincerely forgive the 


offender, in our heart, before God. 


We don't always have to tell the offender we have forgiven


 them.


BEWARE:


Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to


 someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a

 

manipulation to make them feel guilty. It also is a form of 


pride.

Forgiveness is handing justice over to 


God. It is the returning to God the 


right to take care of justice.


Forgiveness is surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a 

vengeful attitude. We can (and should) forgive those who 

sin against us and not get stuck in the pain.

Forgiving means the healing 


of our soul. 


Whatever the offender has done... when we forgive them 


and let go of negative emotions, if any, we can reclaim 


our peace of mind, our creative energy, our joy, and


 personal power... and that is huge! Forgiveness is the gift 


that keeps on giving.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but in forgiving, we 


learn about the heart of God. We might be completely 


justified on a human level to be upset, angry, and 


embittered, but those feelings, emotions, and anger are not 


what God intended for our souls.

Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen process


by which the injured and/or wounded party experiences a 


change in heart and attitude regarding an offense. 


It liberates us from negative-immobilizing-emotions such 


as bitterness, rage, and vicious-vindictive-maliciousness. 



God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us. This 


releasing paves the way to greater understanding, greater


 intelligence, as well as... peace of mind, body, and spirit.



One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity is when we 


are able to let go of negative emotions and allow the


higher self to wish the offender well... even if the 


relationship is never reconciled. 

There will be times when others 


commit wrongs against us.

Forgiveness does not mean minimizing the wrong, 


denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the harm or


 hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that 


helps us to go on with life and not get swallowed up 


by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Anytime we undergo something


 difficult... forgiveness helps us to 


become a better person... 


even when it hurts.

Forgiveness paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual, 


and physical healing. Forgiveness does not diminish us...


contrarily... forgiveness grows us. It actually works like 


fertilizer to repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and revive


 us. It is great medicine for the mind, body, and soul. 


We can forgive even if we never can get along 


with them again.

There is quite a bit of misinformation which does not truly 


or completely represent the facts or reality of how the 


sincere process of forgiveness works. 


We often believe that forgiveness and the healing of 


wounds should be instantaneous, but that is not 


necessarily so. 

Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through 


different lenses, but it’s not the Healer, God is.


We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or 


sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean 


we haven’t forgiven the person.

Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior 


or declare that person is justified or not guilty of 


wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do 


with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that 


frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.  



When we let go and let God be God over the situation... 


the weight of anxiety, and grappling with hurt feelings, 


and the harm inflicted upon us... will be lifted from us.



May we all come to realize that nothing is served 


by lording unforgiveness over another's head.

There are many who feel like they haven't fully forgiven 


because their trust hasn't been restored. 


To the contrary, one must earn trust, 


not expect it.


The offender has to be willing to pay the price by dealing 


with the consequences of their actions.



Yes, we should be cautious of those who knew we 


would be hurt... and they did it anyway!

Trust is not a quick or painless 

process. 

It takes time and patience to 

begin to trust after heartbreak, 

betrayal, and being lied to and lied on.

The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months, 


even years after the fact. It is something people often get 


confused with or equate to forgiveness. 

Genuine trust doesn't happen 


overnight and neither should it. 


Trust is a process. It is not just given.

 

It is shared and developed over 


time. 


Trust is like a seed. As a seed sprouts up and becomes 


strong... it begins to enmesh the people in the relationship.


Some destructive abusers feel like they have to be right, 


negative, demanding, and keep the offended stuck in an


apologetic mode. Some of our critics seem to love to 


wrestle, drag, and brow beat us into their negative-


emotional-drama. They treat negativity and drama like


 it's oxygen.



Some abusers are like pigs whose main desire is to get us 


just as grimy and dirty as they are.


Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bernard Shaw


 have all been cited as saying it best...


"Never wrestle with pigs. You both get 


dirty and the pig likes it." 


This metaphorical adage warns us not to engage, wallow


or plot against disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious 


critics.


 If or when we do... we can expect to possibly be 


smeared, dirtied up and/or contaminated.

Calling someone to forgiveness does not mean that we 


must subject ourselves to the same mean-spirited, toxic


 individuals who search for our faults, take pleasure


 in our pain and suffering, and are deeply angered by our


 joy and/or progress. 



Forgiveness does not mean instant reconciliation. Some


 toxic relationships around us will need to be distanced or 


removed. In many cases we won’t have to shut the 


offender all the way out, even if the offender has 


already shut us out. 



According to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30, 


"They will be held accountable by God."

We must, in many cases, do ourselves 


favor and love some people from 


distance.

As we become wiser we begin to realize what we need 


and what we need to walk away from.

Spiritual maturity is knowing when to let go and walk 


away from people and circumstances that threaten our 


peace of mind, produce unpleasant, poisonous,


 unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome 


spiritual drama.

Some people generally think:


When someone does something that is hurtful to us,


these are mainly those people on the sidelines, they can be 


quick to expect that we need to forgive and forget... all is 


well... and we can go back to business as usual.


They are quick to assume... if the offender is not sorry or 


continues to hurt us, our job is to overlook everything 


and turn the other cheek.

While God commands us to forgive others, God never told 


us to keep subjecting ourselves to those who have 


wounded us and violated our trust.


We don't have to tolerate, nor should we keep ourselves 

open to lack of respect or any form of abuse.

There is no suggestion that we should like being 


around mean-spirited people who hurt us.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. 


Reconciliation and restoration is a process. Forgiveness is 


surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a vengeful attitude.


We can (and should) forgive those who sin against us and 


not get stuck in the pain.


Forgiveness does not change the past. It is the wisdom 


from on high that helps us to understand that what the 


offender did was not okay. God has a way of showing us 


that we cannot change the past. We can; however, accept 


situations that occur in our lives as teachers, whether they 


are good, bad, or indifferent, who provide lessons we 


could not have learned any other way. 


The main take-away is to let go and let God abide... 


regardless of the severity or number of wrongs that others 


commit against us. A festering soul wound creates an 


opening for Satan and his robbing, destructive evils. Let 


us not leave any openings for anger/Satan to hold us 


hostage.


In forgiving, we learn about 


the heart of God.



We might be completely justified on a human level to be


upset, angry, and embittered, but those feelings, emotions, 


and anger are not what God intended for our souls.



Let us forgive 


so that we can, whole-heartedly 


walk in our calling.



Forgiveness does not involve the other person, exclusively.


Forgiving means the healing 


of our soul. 



Whatever the offender has done... when we forgive them


and let go of negative emotions, if any, 


we can reclaim our peace of mind, 


our creative energy, our joy, and personal power... 


and that is huge!

Forgiveness comes from God. 


When we forgive others... it is much 


like an earthly reflection of God. 


In His Love,



Carole C. Good

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