Have you ever been undermined 

and/or seriously affected by the

 acts or words of another?

When an immediate family member or close 

friend causes us anguish or distress, the scars, 

both physical and verbal, can be brutally 

painful. The agony could persist and last 


Some of the deepest life wounds are those we 

cannot see. Despair, discouragement, 

disappointment, distrust, and even defeat 

might result from these wounds. These 

dynamics can become entrenched and have 

a severe influence on an individual's emotional, 

physical, and spiritual well-being.

Those who knowingly engage in hurtful and 

malicious practices, fail to realize, they may be

 successful at hurting others, but they are also

 hurting and harming themselves.

"Father, forgive them; for they

 know not what they do."

Luke 23:34

When we genuinely grasp how God has 

forgiven us, we gain a greater understanding 

of what it means to forgive others.

Forgiveness is the deliberate decision to let go of

 sentiments of animosity or anger against someone 

or something that has mistreated us, regardless of 

whether they even deserve our forgiveness. 

Forgiveness does not absolve the offender's guilt

 or exonerate the offender's words or actions. In 

general, forgiveness puts us on the path to greater

 serenity and freedom.

If we wish to live in peace and harmony, 

forgiveness may profoundly revolutionize 

our hearts! Forgiveness is an amazing gift 

we actually offer to ourselves. 

Unconditional acts of love, mercy, compassion,

 and forgiveness, even toward people who have 

deceived, harmed, or insulted us, are the catalysts

 that may profoundly and completely transform

 and liberate us.

Forgiveness is built on a

foundation of love.

Love is also a by-product of forgiveness. Love 

is the root and ultimate purpose of forgiving. 

God, Who is love, came to earth in the person

of a man (Jesus) to love us, and it is through 

His love that we have been forgiven. He asked

 us to love one another.

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all 

your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'

The second is, 

'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'

Matthew 22: 37-39

These are the most important commandments.

We often learn to love by putting it to the test 

during challenging situations. Love is put to the

ultimate test when it cannot be reciprocated. 

Allowing love to do its finest work in us at the 

moment of our greatest anguish is the way to 

recover from hurt (particularly pain inflicted

 by family members and/or close friends).

If we adjusted our viewpoint and looked at 

the things that make us uncomfortable, i.e.,

the ones who unfairly harmed us... and 

approached it as if LOVE were testing us

 rather than people, we could be more 

prepared to say, "OK, love, be my teacher, 

what can I learn from this injustice, rejection, 

bullying, and/or pain?" What, moreover, can 

I get from learning to love well?

Love is patient and kind.

It is neither envious, boastful,

 or self-assured. It does not 

disrespect or dishonor others, 

is not self-centered, is not 

easily irritated, and maintains

 no record of wrongs. Love 

does not take pleasure in 

wrongdoing, but rather rejoices 

in the truth. It always protects,

 always believes, always

aspires, and always perseveres. 

We get greater compassion when we can ask 

God how He views the individual or 


What God reveals may surprise us. 

Healing may happen in phases, so just because

 it comes up again doesn't imply we didn't 

forgive the first time. 

So let us release the forgiveness  

we have been given, toward the 


The act of forgiving does not 

erase or justify vile and corrupt 

behavior. Forgiveness keeps 

one's wrongdoings from hurting 

and/or destroying our hearts.

It doesn't matter if the offender deserves it or not...

the conscious act of forgiving another is our

deliberate choice to let go of negative or resentful 

feelings toward them.

Forgiveness is defined in the 

Bible as "the alleviation of 

resentment toward proven 


Prior to showing forgiveness to others, it 

first takes place within our hearts.

It’s something that takes place in our

 hearts before it manifests towards 

other people.

There is a distinction between 

forgiveness and reconciliation.

 To forgive in a biblical sense is to recognize 

and regard someone and their actions towards 

you in light of and through the finished work 

of Jesus Christ. 

This does not require you to

 ever see that person again. 

If it is possible, as much as depends on you,

 live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not 

avenge yourselves, but rather give place to 

wrath; for it is written, 

“Vengeance is Mine, 

I will repay,” 

says the Lord.

Romans 12:18-19 

After someone has deeply hurt us, 

we choose forgiveness when we

 are ready to move on... 

or when the love in our hearts speaks louder

 than the temporary resentment.

Forgiveness does not excuse 

heinous and corrupt acts. 

Forgiveness protects us from

becoming hindered by their 

bad behavior.

Yes, forgiveness is extending grace to the 

offender, but more importantly, when we 

forgive... we can let go of our victim role 

and relinquish the control and power that the 

offending person and/or situation may have 

had in our lives.

Unforgiveness is a form of mental torment.

We think we're hurting the other person when, 

in truth, we're injuring ourselves by postponing 


Unforgiveness causes us to become indignant, 

cold, harsh, bitter, and resentful. Unforgiveness 

can have physical, emotional, mental, and 

spiritual consequences. Yes, we may feel justified

 in our indignation; yet, we must choose between

 our rage and frustrations... from emotions.

When we cease to forgive, we are choosing

 to hang on to the heinous act. We focus on our

 anguish and opt to relive the offending moment 

whenever the offender comes remotely close.

Unforgiveness is a roadblock 

and a hindrance.

Unforgiveness could become a self-imposed

 impediment... a heavy and burdensome load 

which could produce physical weariness, 

spiritual brokenness, and emotional 


Unforgiveness stagnates, immobilizes, and 

in some circumstances completely paralyzes

 us. It ties us to our past scars and prevents us

 from experiencing the full life God intended

 for us.

When the person who has been wounded

delays forgiveness or carries hatred toward

 others, it frequently worsens the situation for

 the one who has been hurt. 

According to one saying, 

anger is like ingesting poison

and expecting the other person 

to die. 

When we cling to the overpowering emotions 

of indignation, sadness, and depression, we

 continuously injure ourselves and exacerbate 

the damage done to our souls.

It is our decision to hurt or heal. 

It is extremely costly to live in unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness has a detrimental impact on our 

emotions and health in a number of ways and 

can have a variety of undesirable repercussions, 

which includes:

1- Bitterness

2- Nervousness

3 - Dealing with depression

4 - Anger triggers

5 - Missing out on enjoyable experiences in life

Withholding forgiveness brings heaviness

to the mind, body, and spirit. It typically 

hurts us more than the offender. 

Unforgiveness' heaviness can develop into bitter 

thoughts and actions. Those bitter roots can sprout

and leave openings for Satan to derail us. 

When we stop nursing the offense, we benefit 

ourselves the most. Let us stand firm against 

the devil's attempt to poison our minds and spirit 

with bitterness.

However legally or morally justified we might feel or be, 

rather than allowing bitterness and resentment to poison

our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, we can 

forgive the offender, release the burden, and 

experience greater peace in our soul. 

God expects those who have been forgiven to 

forgive others, so much so that He extends and 

connects His forgiveness to ours.

Forgiveness is divine, it 

comes from God. It is a

central part of God’s heart.

God’s forgiveness is limitless and is

as constant as our need for it. God's 

forgiveness is not conditional, 

wavering, or subject to theft or 

misappropriation. God's forgiveness

is thoroughly complete.

Jesus' forgiving heart is 

one of His most defining


On the cross… Jesus said… 

"Forgive them… 

for they know not what they do."

Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He 

became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.

Jesus forgave those who

had offended Him and

refused to succumb to 

bitter sentiments and/or


Following Jesus' example is 

ultimately the best path to healing.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,

but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:

 ‘It is Mine to avenge; 

I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 

Romans 12:19 

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet 

sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

― Mark Twain

Because we have been 

forgiven, we must forgive


Therefore, let this be our duty 

to Christ.

Others will mistreat us from time to time. 

Our critics may purposefully 

make us feel hesitant to forgive.

Some of us are led to believe or believe

 that forgiveness entails pretending the

 offense never happened, condoning the 

offense by wiping the slate clean, or 

allowing others to take advantage of us

and subject us to the same rude, devilish, 

inconsiderate, emotionally toxic, 

mean-spirited, unreasonable behavior 

over and over again and trusting them.

On the contrary, 

forgiveness does not imply

 minimizing the wrongdoing, 

denying reality, or forgetting 

and excusing the harm or hurt 

inflicted on us. 

Forgiveness brings a sense of peace 

that helps us to go on with life and 

not get swallowed up by bitterness 

or a sense of victimhood.

Forgiveness can put the darkness behind us and keep us 

from being consumed with anger. It can set us free from

 the hurt and/or harm caused by another and loosen the 

clutches of grudges, stress, and bitterness.

We forgive because a wrong 

has been done. Forgiveness 

brings rest to the weary, 

comfort for the hurting, 

solace to the heavily laden 

and rest for the soul.

Forgiveness is difficult to achieve, especially when the

 person who has hurt us refuses to admit wrongdoing;

if we do not practice forgiveness, 

we may be the onewho suffers the 


We forgive, not to set the 

offender free… 

only God can save people. 

We forgive because 

God wants to set us free!

Forgiveness is intended 

for us. 

Forgiveness is a blessing for our hearts. It 

does not erase, forget, excuse, or give 

permission to continue hurtful behaviors; 

it also does not condone bad behavior or 

pretend the hurtful past did not occur. 

Instead of pretending that forgiveness is

 okay or deleting it from our memory, we

 are set free from a painful spiritual burden

 and have learned a valuable life lesson.

We must make a heartfelt decision to 

forgive, regardless of the offenses or the 

offender's lack of remorse. We must 

forgive simply because God has forgiven 

us through Jesus Christ, and we do not 

want Satan's tormenting works to continue.

 When we forgive, we can remember 

without being dis-eased by 


Forgiveness does not change the 

past, but it does free us from the 

pain and/or harm caused by 


We can bind and loosen the grips of grudges, 

stress, and bitterness when we forgive those 

who have hurt or harmed us.

We can sleep in peace and wake up every 

morning with joy and lightness in our hearts 

when we forgive and relinquish the right to 

seek personal vengeance. This can help us 

maintain and/or restore our peace of mind, as 

well as improve our overall health and 


Forgiveness only takes 

one... that is us! 

We are not required to go to our

 offender in order to forgive them.

 Forgiveness is a personal affair

 between us and God. 

God is aware of the truth. He

understands how we were treated


Forgiveness takes placebetween 

the person who has been hurt 

and God.

It is best to sincerely forgive 

the offender, in our hearts,

before God. 

We are not always required to inform 

the offender that we have forgiven them.


Self-righteously proclaiming our gracious 

forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be


forgiven may be a deception designed to make 

them feel guilty. It is also a source of pride.

Forgiveness does not depend on 

the behavior or repentance of 

the offender. Forgiveness is 

handing justice over to God. It 

is the returning to God the right 

to take care of justice.

God closely watches all mankind, 

and God is able to bless us with

 mercies for each of our woes. 

With God we are able to pass safely through the sea 

of distress and forgive those who have wronged us. 

God is able to control, overcome, quiet, and subdue 

our enemies.

 God has the benefit of being able to see into 

our hearts to measure the sincerity of our remorse. 

When we humbly cry out to God... God allows us

to let go, lead the change, and move forward with 

a lighter heart and greater peace.

Yes, forgiveness is grace 

extended to the offender, 

but it is more important for us... 

than the offender. 

When our intentions are pure, we can truly 

accept forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness 

allows us to heal emotionally, spiritually, and 


Forgiveness does not diminish us; rather, it grows 

and strengthens us. It actually acts like fertilizer 

to repair, restore, rebuild, and revitalize us. It is 

excellent mental and spiritual natural remedy.

We forgive, not to set the offender free – 

only God can save people. We forgive because 

God wants to set us free!

Forgiveness releases us from the heavy and burdensome 

clutches of resentment, depression, and possibly high 

blood pressure.

When we forgive and relinquish the right 

to seek personal revenge... we can sleep in 

peace and wake up every morning with joy

 and lightness in our hearts. 

Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness 

is based on grace... not our works.


Forgiveness doesn’t imply that the person 

should still be welcomed in our lives. We

can forgive even if we never can get along 

with them again, we can forgive.

Forgiveness entails forgiving ourselves

 for allowing others to hurt us. It means we 

have made peace with the pain.

Forgiveness is surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a 

vengeful attitude. We can (and should) forgive those who 

sin against us and not get stuck in the pain.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but in 

forgiving, we learn about the heart of God. 

We might be completely justified on a human 

level to be upset, angry, and embittered, but 

those feelings, emotions, and anger are not 

what God intended for our souls.

Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen 

process by which the injured and/or wounded

party experiences a change in heart and attitude

regarding an offense. 

It liberates us from negative and immobilizing

emotions such as bitterness, rage, and 

vicious, vindictive, maliciousness. 

God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us. 

This releasing opens the door to greater 

understanding, greater intelligence, as well as... 

peace of mind, body, and spirit.

One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity 

is when we are able to let go of negative 

emotions and allow the higher self to wish 

the offender well... even if the relationship is

 never reconciled. 

There will be times when others 

commit wrongs against us.

God wants each of us to capture

 any demonic strongholds that 

hold us captive.

 Forgiveness breaks the 

strongholds of the enemy.

Forgiveness does not mean minimizing the wrong, 

denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the harm or

 hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that 

helps us to go on with life and not get swallowed up 

by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Anytime we undergo something

 difficult... forgiveness helps us to 

become a better person... 

even when it hurts.

Forgiveness paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual, 

and physical healing. Forgiveness does not diminish us...

contrarily... forgiveness grows us. It actually works like 

fertilizer to repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and revive

 us. It is great medicine for the mind, body, and soul. 

There is a lot of misinformation out there 

that does not accurately or completely 

represent the facts or reality of how the 

genuine process of forgiveness works.

We frequently believe that forgiveness and 

wound healing should be instantaneous, but 

this is not always the case.

Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through 

different lenses, but it’s not the Healer, 

God is.

We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or 

sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean 

we haven’t forgiven the person.

Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior 

or declare that person is justified or not guilty of 

wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do 

with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that 

frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.  

The weight of anxiety, grappling with hurt 

feelings, and the harm inflicted upon us will be 

lifted from us when we let go and let God be 

God over the situation.

May we all come to realize that imposing 

unforgiveness on others serves no purpose.

Many people believe they have not fully 

forgiven because their trust has not been restored.

On the contrary, 

trust must be earned 

rather than expected.

The offender must be willing to pay the

 price for their actions by dealing with the 


Yes, we should be cautious of those who 

knew we'd be hurt... and 

they did it anyway!

Calling someone to forgiveness does not

obligate us to subject ourselves to the same

 mean-spirited, toxic individuals who look 

for our flaws, delight in our pain and suffering,

 and are deeply offended by our joy and/or 


Forgiveness does not imply immediate reconciliation.

Some toxic relationships will need to be distanced 

or removed from our lives. Even if the offender has

already shut us out, we won't have to shut them out

 completely in many cases.

"They will be held accountable

by God," 

according to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30.

Trust is not a quick or painless 


It takes time and patience to 

begin to trust after heartbreak, 

betrayal, and being lied to and lied on.

The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months, 

even years after the fact. It is something people often get 

confused with or equate to forgiveness. 

Genuine trust doesn't develop 

overnight and neither should it. 

Trust is an ongoing process. It 

is not just given. It is shared 

and developed over time.

Some destructive abusers believe they 

must be right, negative, and demanding in 

order to keep the offended in an apologetic mode.

 Some of our naysayers appear to enjoy wrestling,

dragging, and browbeating us into their negative 

emotional drama. They treat negativity and drama

as if they were oxygen.

Some abusers are like pigs whose main goal is to 

get us as filthy as they are.

It has been said that we should...

 "Never wrestle with pigs. You 

both get dirty, and the pig 

likes it." 

This metaphorical adage cautions us not to

 start engaging, indulging, or plot against 

disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious critics.

If or when we do, we can expect to be smeared

 and dirtied.

In many cases, we must do 

ourselves a favor and love 

some people from a distance.

As we grow older, we become

 more aware of what we require 

and what we must circumvent.

Knowing when to let go and walk away from

 people and circumstances that threaten our 

peace of mind or produce unpleasant, poisonous,

 unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome 

spiritual drama is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Some people tend to believe that when 

someone does something hurtful to us, they

 are quick to assume that we must forgive and 

forget... that everything is fine... and that we

 can return to business as usual.

They are quick to assume... if the offender 

does not apologize or continues to harm us, 

our job is to ignore everything and turn the 

other cheek.

While God instructs us to forgive others,

 He never instructs us to continue to subject 

ourselves to those who have wounded us and

 violated our trust.

We do not have to tolerate, nor should we 

leave ourselves open to disrespect or abuse.

There is no reason to like being around 

mean-spirited people who hurt us.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two very

different things. Reconciliation and restoration

 are ongoing processes. Forgiveness entails

 letting go of any resentment, bitterness, or

 vengeful attitude.

We can (and should) forgive those who sin


against us without becoming stuck in the pain.

Forgiveness does not make the past disappear. 

The wisdom from on high helps us understand

 that what the offender did was wrong. 

God has a way of demonstrating that we can't 

change the past. We can, however, accept 

situations in our lives as teachers, whether 

good, bad, or indifferent, who teach us lessons

 we would not have learned otherwise.

The main takeaway is to let go and let God be...

 regardless of the severity or number of wrongs 

committed against us by others. 

Always remember and never forget:

A festering soul wound allows Satan and his 

robbing, destructive evils to enter. Let us not 

leave any room for rage/Satan to take us hostage.

Forgiving teaches us about 

God's heart. 

On a human level, we are completely justified

 in being upset, angry, and disheartened, but those

 feelings, emotions, and anger are not what God

 intended for our souls.

Let us forgive so that we can fully embrace our 

calling. Forgiveness is not solely about the other 

person. Forgiveness is synonymous with soul 


Whatever the offender has done, we can reclaim

 our peace of mind, creative energy, joy, and 

personal power when we forgive them and let 

go of any negative emotions we may have.

Forgiveness comes from God. 

When we forgive others... it is much 

like an earthly reflection of God.


In His Love,