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When someone we love hurts us... the gravity of the
physical and/or verbal wounds can leave painful
life-long scars. These wounds can stay open and leave
one with lasting feelings of anger, defeat, down-
heartedness, bitterness, resentment, and even thoughts
of hateful counter-blows. The emotional, physical, and
Spiritual impact from these wounds can take root and
destroy one's peace of mind, body, and soul.
Satan's target is our mind!
Satan's weapons are blatant lies!
Unforgiveness is a heavy, cumbersome load we carry
which causes physical burn-out, spiritual weakness, and
emotional exhaustion.
Unforgiveness hinders us. It ties us down to past hurts and
robs us of the full life God intends for us.
Unforgiveness hinders, stagnates, immobilizes and in
some cases it can totally paralyze us. It ties us down to past
hurts and robs us of the full life God intends for us.
leave openings for Satan to derail us.
We help ourselves most... when we stop nursing the
offense. Let us resist the devil in his attempt to poison
our mind and spirit with bitterness.
However legally or morally justified we might feel or be,
rather than allowing bitterness and anger to pollute our
physical, mental, and spiritual well-being...
we can forgive the offender and release the burden and
realize greater peace in our soul.
God’s forgiveness is never-ending, and is as constant
as our need for forgiveness. God's forgiveness is not
conditional, wavering, or subject to being embezzled or
misappropriated. God's forgiveness is total and complete.
One of the greatest attributes of Jesus
is His forgiving heart.
On the cross… Jesus said…
"Forgive them…
for they know not what they do."
Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He
became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.
Jesus forgave those who had wronged Him and did not
become a slave to hurt feelings and resentments.
Ultimately, the path to healing is to follow Jesus' example.
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,
but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
‘It is mine to avenge;
I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Romans 12:19
We must forgive because
we have been forgiven.
May this be our responsibility toward Christ.
There will be times when others commit wrongs against
us. We must make a decision to forgive from the heart
regardless of the offenses, and regardless of the lack of
remorse of the offending party. We must forgive simply
because we have been forgiven by God in Jesus Christ,
and because we do not want to leave any open doors for
the tormenting works of Satan.
Our critics can often leave us feeling a little apprehensive
about forgiving. Some of us are made to believe or feel
that forgiveness means pretending the offense never
happened, condoning the offense by wiping the slate
clean, or allowing others to take advantage of us and
once again expose ourselves to what could be the same
rude, devilish, inconsiderate, emotionally toxic, mean-
spirited, unreasonable behavior and trusting them again.
To the contrary... forgiveness does not mean minimizing
the wrong, denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the
harm or hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of
peace that helps us to go on with life and not get
swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.
Forgiveness can put the darkness behind us and keep us
from being consumed with anger. It can set us free from
the hurt and/or harm caused by another. It can loosen the
clutches of grudges, stress, and bitterness.
Forgiveness brings rest to the weary, comfort for the
hurting, solace to the heavily laden and rest for the soul.
We forgive, not to set the offender free… only God can
save people. We forgive because
God wants to set us free!
Forgiveness is for us. We forgive because a wrong was
committed. Forgiveness is a gift to our heart. It does not
erase, forget, excuse, give permission to continue hurtful
behaviors; nor is it condoning bad behavior, or pretending
the hurtful past didn’t happened. Neither is forgiveness
pretending it is okay or deleted from our memory, instead,
we are set free from carrying a painful burden of spirit and
we have garnered a valuable life lesson. Forgiveness is
when we can remember without the dis-ease of anger.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it can certainly
set us free from the hurt and/or harm caused by another.
When we forgive those who hurt or harmed us, we can
bind and loosen the clutches of grudges, stress, and
bitterness.
When we forgive and relinquish the right to seek personal
revenge... we can sleep in peace and wake up every
morning with joy and lightness in our hearts. This in and
of itself can help maintain and/or restore our peace of
mind and improve our overall health and well being.
Forgiveness only takes one...
that's us!
Forgiveness is something that takes place between the
one who has been hurt and God.
When our intentions are pure... we are genuinely able
to embrace forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness
paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual, and
physical healing.
Forgiveness does not diminish us...
contrarily... forgiveness grows us.
It actually works like fertilizer to repair us, restore us,
rebuild us, and revive us. It is great medicine for the
mind and soul.
We forgive, not to set the offender free –
only God can save people. We forgive because
God wants to set us free!
Forgiveness releases us from the heavy and burdensome
clutches of resentment, depression, and possibly high
blood pressure.
When we forgive and relinquish the right to seek personal
revenge... we can sleep in peace and wake up every
morning with joy and lightness in our hearts.
Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness
is based on grace... not our works.
God closely watches all mankind, and God is able
to bless us with mercies for each of our woes.
With God we are able to pass safely through the sea of
distress and forgive those who have wronged us.
God is able to control, overcome, quiet, and subdue our
enemies.
God has the benefit of being able to see into our hearts to
measure the sincerity of our remorse. When we humbly
cry out to God... God allows us to let go, lead the change,
and move forward with a lighter heart and greater peace.
Yes, forgiveness is grace extended to the offender, but it is
more important for us... than the offender.
Forgiveness does not depend on the behavior or
repentance of the offender. Forgiveness is handing justice
over to God. It is the returning to God the right to take
care of justice.
Yes, forgiveness is grace extended to the offender, but it is
more important for us... than the offender.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that person should still be
welcomed in our lives. We can forgive even if we never
can get along with them again.
Forgiveness means forgiving ourselves for allowing others
to hurt us. It means we have made peace with the pain.
It is best to sincerely forgive the
offender, in our heart, before God.
We don't always have to tell the offender we have forgiven
them.
BEWARE:
Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to
someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a
manipulation to make them feel guilty. It also is a form of
pride.
Forgiveness is handing justice over to
God. It is the returning to God the
right to take care of justice.
Forgiving means the healing
of our soul.
Whatever the offender has done... when we forgive them
and let go of negative emotions, if any, we can reclaim
our peace of mind, our creative energy, our joy, and
personal power... and that is huge! Forgiveness is the gift
that keeps on giving.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but in forgiving, we
learn about the heart of God. We might be completely
justified on a human level to be upset, angry, and
embittered, but those feelings, emotions, and anger are not
what God intended for our souls.
Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen process
by which the injured and/or wounded party experiences a
change in heart and attitude regarding an offense.
It liberates us from negative-immobilizing-emotions such
as bitterness, rage, and vicious-vindictive-maliciousness.
God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us. This
releasing paves the way to greater understanding, greater
intelligence, as well as... peace of mind, body, and spirit.
One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity is when we
are able to let go of negative emotions and allow the
higher self to wish the offender well... even if the
relationship is never reconciled.
There will be times when others
commit wrongs against us.
Forgiveness does not mean minimizing the wrong,
denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the harm or
hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that
helps us to go on with life and not get swallowed up
by bitterness or a sense of injustice.
Anytime we undergo something
difficult... forgiveness helps us to
become a better person...
even when it hurts.
Forgiveness paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual,
and physical healing. Forgiveness does not diminish us...
contrarily... forgiveness grows us. It actually works like
fertilizer to repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and revive
us. It is great medicine for the mind, body, and soul.
We can forgive even if we never can get along
with them again.
There is quite a bit of misinformation which does not truly
or completely represent the facts or reality of how the
sincere process of forgiveness works.
We often believe that forgiveness and the healing of
wounds should be instantaneous, but that is not
necessarily so.
Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through
different lenses, but it’s not the Healer, God is.
We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or
sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean
we haven’t forgiven the person.
Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior
or declare that person is justified or not guilty of
wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do
with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that
frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.
When we let go and let God be God over the situation...
the weight of anxiety, and grappling with hurt feelings,
and the harm inflicted upon us... will be lifted from us.
May we all come to realize that nothing is served
by lording unforgiveness over another's head.
There are many who feel like they haven't fully forgiven
because their trust hasn't been restored.
To the contrary, one must earn trust,
not expect it.
The offender has to be willing to pay the price by dealing
with the consequences of their actions.
Yes, we should be cautious of those who knew we
would be hurt... and they did it anyway!
The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months,
even years after the fact. It is something people often get
confused with or equate to forgiveness.
Genuine trust doesn't happen
overnight and neither should it.
Trust is a process. It is not just given.
It is shared and developed over
time.
Trust is like a seed. As a seed sprouts up and becomes
strong... it begins to enmesh the people in the relationship.
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Some destructive abusers feel like they have to be right,
negative, demanding, and keep the offended stuck in an
apologetic mode. Some of our critics seem to love to
wrestle, drag, and brow beat us into their negative-
emotional-drama. They treat negativity and drama like
it's oxygen.
Some abusers are like pigs whose main desire is to get us
just as grimy and dirty as they are.
Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bernard Shaw
have all been cited as saying it best...
"Never wrestle with pigs. You both get
dirty and the pig likes it."
This metaphorical adage warns us not to engage, wallow
or plot against disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious
critics.
If or when we do... we can expect to possibly be
smeared, dirtied up and/or contaminated.
Calling someone to forgiveness does not mean that we
must subject ourselves to the same mean-spirited, toxic
individuals who search for our faults, take pleasure
in our pain and suffering, and are deeply angered by our
joy and/or progress.
Forgiveness does not mean instant reconciliation. Some
toxic relationships around us will need to be distanced or
removed. In many cases we won’t have to shut the
offender all the way out, even if the offender has
already shut us out.
According to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30,
"They will be held accountable by God."
We must, in many cases, do ourselves
a favor and love some people from a
distance.
As we become wiser we begin to realize what we need
and what we need to walk away from.
Spiritual maturity is knowing when to let go and walk
away from people and circumstances that threaten our
peace of mind, produce unpleasant, poisonous,
unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome
spiritual drama.
Some people generally think:
When someone does something that is hurtful to us,
these are mainly those people on the sidelines, they can be
quick to expect that we need to forgive and forget... all is
well... and we can go back to business as usual.
They are quick to assume... if the offender is not sorry or
continues to hurt us, our job is to overlook everything
and turn the other cheek.
While God commands us to forgive others, God never told
us to keep subjecting ourselves to those who have
wounded us and violated our trust.
around mean-spirited people who hurt us.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things.
Reconciliation and restoration is a process. Forgiveness is
surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a vengeful attitude.
We can (and should) forgive those who sin against us and
not get stuck in the pain.
Forgiveness does not change the past. It is the wisdom
from on high that helps us to understand that what the
offender did was not okay. God has a way of showing us
that we cannot change the past. We can; however, accept
situations that occur in our lives as teachers, whether they
are good, bad, or indifferent, who provide lessons we
could not have learned any other way.
The main take-away is to let go and let God abide...
regardless of the severity or number of wrongs that others
commit against us. A festering soul wound creates an
opening for Satan and his robbing, destructive evils. Let
us not leave any openings for anger/Satan to hold us
hostage.
In forgiving, we learn about
the heart of God.
We might be completely justified on a human level to be
upset, angry, and embittered, but those feelings, emotions,
and anger are not what God intended for our souls.
Let us forgive
so that we can, whole-heartedly
walk in our calling.
Forgiveness does not involve the other person, exclusively.
Forgiving means the healing
of our soul.
Whatever the offender has done... when we forgive them
and let go of negative emotions, if any,
we can reclaim our peace of mind,
our creative energy, our joy, and personal power...
and that is huge!
Forgiveness comes from God.
When we forgive others... it is much
like an earthly reflection of God.
In His Love,
Carole C. Good
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