Have you ever been undermined 


and/or seriously affected by the


 acts or words of another?


When an immediate family member or close 


friend causes us anguish or distress, the scars, 

both physical and verbal, can be brutally 

painful. The agony could persist and last 

indefinitely.


Some of the deepest life wounds are those we 


cannot see. Despair, discouragement, 


disappointment, distrust, and even defeat 


might result from these wounds. These 


dynamics can become entrenched and have 


a severe influence on an individual's emotional, 


physical, and spiritual well-being.

Those who knowingly engage in hurtful and 


malicious practices, fail to realize, they may be


 successful at hurting others, but they are also


 hurting and harming themselves.

"Father, forgive them; for they


 know not what they do."


Luke 23:34

When we genuinely grasp how God has 


forgiven us, we gain a greater understanding 


of what it means to forgive others.


Forgiveness is the deliberate decision to let go of


 sentiments of animosity or anger against someone 


or something that has mistreated us, regardless of 


whether they even deserve our forgiveness. 


Forgiveness does not absolve the offender's guilt


 or exonerate the offender's words or actions. In 


general, forgiveness puts us on the path to greater


 serenity and freedom.


If we wish to live in peace and harmony, 


forgiveness may profoundly revolutionize 


our hearts! Forgiveness is an amazing gift 


we actually offer to ourselves. 


Unconditional acts of love, mercy, compassion,


 and forgiveness, even toward people who have 


deceived, harmed, or insulted us, are the catalysts


 that may profoundly and completely transform


 and liberate us.


Forgiveness is built on a


foundation of love.


Love is also a by-product of forgiveness. Love 


is the root and ultimate purpose of forgiving. 


God, Who is love, came to earth in the person


of a man (Jesus) to love us, and it is through 


His love that we have been forgiven. He asked


 us to love one another.



'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all 


your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.'


The second is, 


'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'


Matthew 22: 37-39


These are the most important commandments.



We often learn to love by putting it to the test 


during challenging situations. Love is put to the


ultimate test when it cannot be reciprocated. 



Allowing love to do its finest work in us at the 


moment of our greatest anguish is the way to 


recover from hurt (particularly pain inflicted


 by family members and/or close friends).


If we adjusted our viewpoint and looked at 


the things that make us uncomfortable, i.e.,


the ones who unfairly harmed us... and 


approached it as if LOVE were testing us


 rather than people, we could be more 


prepared to say, "OK, love, be my teacher, 


what can I learn from this injustice, rejection, 


bullying, and/or pain?" What, moreover, can 


I get from learning to love well?



Love is patient and kind.


It is neither envious, boastful,


 or self-assured. It does not 


disrespect or dishonor others, 


is not self-centered, is not 


easily irritated, and maintains


 no record of wrongs. Love 


does not take pleasure in 


wrongdoing, but rather rejoices 


in the truth. It always protects,


 always believes, always


aspires, and always perseveres. 


We get greater compassion when we can ask 


God how He views the individual or 


circumstance. 


What God reveals may surprise us. 



Healing may happen in phases, so just because


 it comes up again doesn't imply we didn't 


forgive the first time. 

So let us release the forgiveness  


we have been given, toward the 


offender. 

The act of forgiving does not 


erase or justify vile and corrupt 


behavior. Forgiveness keeps 


one's wrongdoings from hurting 


and/or destroying our hearts.


It doesn't matter if the offender deserves it or not...


the conscious act of forgiving another is our


deliberate choice to let go of negative or resentful 


feelings toward them.


Forgiveness is defined in the 


Bible as "the alleviation of 


resentment toward proven 


wrongs."

Prior to showing forgiveness to others, it 


first takes place within our hearts.


It’s something that takes place in our


 hearts before it manifests towards 


other people.



There is a distinction between 

forgiveness and reconciliation.


 To forgive in a biblical sense is to recognize 

and regard someone and their actions towards 

you in light of and through the finished work 

of Jesus Christ. 

This does not require you to

 ever see that person again. 


If it is possible, as much as depends on you,


 live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not 


avenge yourselves, but rather give place to 

wrath; for it is written, 

“Vengeance is Mine, 

I will repay,” 

says the Lord.

Romans 12:18-19 

After someone has deeply hurt us, 


we choose forgiveness when we


 are ready to move on... 


or when the love in our hearts speaks louder


 than the temporary resentment.

Forgiveness does not excuse 


heinous and corrupt acts. 


Forgiveness protects us from


becoming hindered by their 



bad behavior.



Yes, forgiveness is extending grace to the 


offender, but more importantly, when we 


forgive... we can let go of our victim role 


and relinquish the control and power that the 


offending person and/or situation may have 


had in our lives.


Unforgiveness is a form of mental torment.


We think we're hurting the other person when, 


in truth, we're injuring ourselves by postponing 


forgiveness. 



Unforgiveness causes us to become indignant, 


cold, harsh, bitter, and resentful. Unforgiveness 


can have physical, emotional, mental, and 


spiritual consequences. Yes, we may feel justified


 in our indignation; yet, we must choose between


 our rage and frustrations... from emotions.



When we cease to forgive, we are choosing


 to hang on to the heinous act. We focus on our


 anguish and opt to relive the offending moment 


whenever the offender comes remotely close.


Unforgiveness is a roadblock 


and a hindrance.


Unforgiveness could become a self-imposed


 impediment... a heavy and burdensome load 


which could produce physical weariness, 


spiritual brokenness, and emotional 


exhaustion.



Unforgiveness stagnates, immobilizes, and 


in some circumstances completely paralyzes


 us. It ties us to our past scars and prevents us


 from experiencing the full life God intended


 for us.

When the person who has been wounded


delays forgiveness or carries hatred toward


 others, it frequently worsens the situation for


 the one who has been hurt. 



According to one saying, 


anger is like ingesting poison


and expecting the other person 


to die. 



When we cling to the overpowering emotions 


of indignation, sadness, and depression, we


 continuously injure ourselves and exacerbate 


the damage done to our souls.


It is our decision to hurt or heal. 


It is extremely costly to live in unforgiveness.


Unforgiveness has a detrimental impact on our 


emotions and health in a number of ways and 


can have a variety of undesirable repercussions, 


which includes:



1- Bitterness


2- Nervousness


3 - Dealing with depression


4 - Anger triggers


5 - Missing out on enjoyable experiences in life


Withholding forgiveness brings heaviness

to the mind, body, and spirit. It typically 

hurts us more than the offender. 


Unforgiveness' heaviness can develop into bitter 

thoughts and actions. Those bitter roots can sprout

and leave openings for Satan to derail us. 


When we stop nursing the offense, we benefit 


ourselves the most. Let us stand firm against 


the devil's attempt to poison our minds and spirit 


with bitterness.


However legally or morally justified we might feel or be, 


rather than allowing bitterness and resentment to poison


our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, we can 


forgive the offender, release the burden, and 


experience greater peace in our soul. 

God expects those who have been forgiven to 

forgive others, so much so that He extends and 

connects His forgiveness to ours.

Forgiveness is divine, it 

comes from God. It is a

central part of God’s heart.

God’s forgiveness is limitless and is


as constant as our need for it. God's 


forgiveness is not conditional, 


wavering, or subject to theft or 


misappropriation. God's forgiveness


is thoroughly complete.

Jesus' forgiving heart is 



one of His most defining



 characteristics.

On the cross… Jesus said… 



"Forgive them… 



for they know not what they do."

Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He 


became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.

Jesus forgave those who


had offended Him and


refused to succumb to 



bitter sentiments and/or



resentments. 



Following Jesus' example is 


ultimately the best path to healing.


“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,


but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:


 ‘It is Mine to avenge; 


I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 


Romans 12:19 

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet 

sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

― Mark Twain

Because we have been 


forgiven, we must forgive


others.



Therefore, let this be our duty 


to Christ.

Others will mistreat us from time to time. 


Our critics may purposefully 


make us feel hesitant to forgive.


Some of us are led to believe or believe


 that forgiveness entails pretending the


 offense never happened, condoning the 


offense by wiping the slate clean, or 


allowing others to take advantage of us


and subject us to the same rude, devilish, 


inconsiderate, emotionally toxic, 


mean-spirited, unreasonable behavior 


over and over again and trusting them.


On the contrary, 


forgiveness does not imply


 minimizing the wrongdoing, 



denying reality, or forgetting 



and excusing the harm or hurt 



inflicted on us. 


Forgiveness brings a sense of peace 


that helps us to go on with life and 


not get swallowed up by bitterness 


or a sense of victimhood.


Forgiveness can put the darkness behind us and keep us 


from being consumed with anger. It can set us free from


 the hurt and/or harm caused by another and loosen the 


clutches of grudges, stress, and bitterness.


We forgive because a wrong 


has been done. Forgiveness 


brings rest to the weary, 


comfort for the hurting, 


solace to the heavily laden 


and rest for the soul.


Forgiveness is difficult to achieve, especially when the


 person who has hurt us refuses to admit wrongdoing;


if we do not practice forgiveness, 


we may be the onewho suffers the 


most.


We forgive, not to set the 


offender free… 


only God can save people. 


We forgive because 


God wants to set us free!

Forgiveness is intended 


for us. 


Forgiveness is a blessing for our hearts. It 

does not erase, forget, excuse, or give 

permission to continue hurtful behaviors; 

it also does not condone bad behavior or 

pretend the hurtful past did not occur. 

Instead of pretending that forgiveness is

 okay or deleting it from our memory, we

 are set free from a painful spiritual burden


 and have learned a valuable life lesson.

We must make a heartfelt decision to 

forgive, regardless of the offenses or the 

offender's lack of remorse. We must 

forgive simply because God has forgiven 

us through Jesus Christ, and we do not 

want Satan's tormenting works to continue.

 When we forgive, we can remember 


without being dis-eased by 


indignation.


Forgiveness does not change the 


past, but it does free us from the 


pain and/or harm caused by 


another.


We can bind and loosen the grips of grudges, 


stress, and bitterness when we forgive those 


who have hurt or harmed us.


We can sleep in peace and wake up every 


morning with joy and lightness in our hearts 


when we forgive and relinquish the right to 


seek personal vengeance. This can help us 


maintain and/or restore our peace of mind, as 


well as improve our overall health and 


well-being.


Forgiveness only takes 


one... that is us! 



We are not required to go to our



 offender in order to forgive them.



 Forgiveness is a personal affair



 between us and God. 




God is aware of the truth. He



understands how we were treated



unfairly. 



Forgiveness takes placebetween 



the person who has been hurt 



and God.


It is best to sincerely forgive 


the offender, in our hearts,


before God. 


We are not always required to inform 



the offender that we have forgiven them.


BEWARE:

Self-righteously proclaiming our gracious 



forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be


 

forgiven may be a deception designed to make 



them feel guilty. It is also a source of pride.

Forgiveness does not depend on 


the behavior or repentance of 


the offender. Forgiveness is 


handing justice over to God. It 


is the returning to God the right 


to take care of justice.


God closely watches all mankind, 


and God is able to bless us with


 mercies for each of our woes. 



With God we are able to pass safely through the sea 


of distress and forgive those who have wronged us. 


God is able to control, overcome, quiet, and subdue 


our enemies.



 God has the benefit of being able to see into 


our hearts to measure the sincerity of our remorse. 


When we humbly cry out to God... God allows us


to let go, lead the change, and move forward with 


a lighter heart and greater peace.



Yes, forgiveness is grace 


extended to the offender, 


but it is more important for us... 


than the offender. 


When our intentions are pure, we can truly 


accept forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness 


allows us to heal emotionally, spiritually, and 


physically.


Forgiveness does not diminish us; rather, it grows 


and strengthens us. It actually acts like fertilizer 


to repair, restore, rebuild, and revitalize us. It is 


excellent mental and spiritual natural remedy.


We forgive, not to set the offender free – 


only God can save people. We forgive because 


God wants to set us free!

Forgiveness releases us from the heavy and burdensome 


clutches of resentment, depression, and possibly high 


blood pressure.

When we forgive and relinquish the right 


to seek personal revenge... we can sleep in 


peace and wake up every morning with joy


 and lightness in our hearts. 

Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness 


is based on grace... not our works.

 

Forgiveness doesn’t imply that the person 


should still be welcomed in our lives. We



can forgive even if we never can get along 



with them again, we can forgive.



Forgiveness entails forgiving ourselves



 for allowing others to hurt us. It means we 



have made peace with the pain.


Forgiveness is surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a 

vengeful attitude. We can (and should) forgive those who 

sin against us and not get stuck in the pain.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but in 


forgiving, we learn about the heart of God. 


We might be completely justified on a human 


level to be upset, angry, and embittered, but 


those feelings, emotions, and anger are not 


what God intended for our souls.


Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen 


process by which the injured and/or wounded


party experiences a change in heart and attitude


regarding an offense. 



It liberates us from negative and immobilizing



emotions such as bitterness, rage, and 



vicious, vindictive, maliciousness. 



God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us. 



This releasing opens the door to greater 



understanding, greater intelligence, as well as... 



peace of mind, body, and spirit.



One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity 



is when we are able to let go of negative 



emotions and allow the higher self to wish 



the offender well... even if the relationship is



 never reconciled. 

There will be times when others 


commit wrongs against us.



God wants each of us to capture



 any demonic strongholds that 



hold us captive.



 Forgiveness breaks the 



strongholds of the enemy.

Forgiveness does not mean minimizing the wrong, 


denying reality, or forgetting and excusing the harm or


 hurt done to us. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that 


helps us to go on with life and not get swallowed up 


by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Anytime we undergo something


 difficult... forgiveness helps us to 


become a better person... 


even when it hurts.


Forgiveness paves the way for our emotional, Spiritual, 


and physical healing. Forgiveness does not diminish us...


contrarily... forgiveness grows us. It actually works like 


fertilizer to repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and revive


 us. It is great medicine for the mind, body, and soul. 


There is a lot of misinformation out there 


that does not accurately or completely 


represent the facts or reality of how the 


genuine process of forgiveness works.


We frequently believe that forgiveness and 


wound healing should be instantaneous, but 


this is not always the case.

Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through 


different lenses, but it’s not the Healer, 



God is.


We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or 


sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean 


we haven’t forgiven the person.

Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior 


or declare that person is justified or not guilty of 


wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do 


with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that 


frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.  



The weight of anxiety, grappling with hurt 


feelings, and the harm inflicted upon us will be 


lifted from us when we let go and let God be 


God over the situation.


May we all come to realize that imposing 


unforgiveness on others serves no purpose.



Many people believe they have not fully 


forgiven because their trust has not been restored.



On the contrary, 



trust must be earned 



rather than expected.



The offender must be willing to pay the


 price for their actions by dealing with the 


consequences.



Yes, we should be cautious of those who 


knew we'd be hurt... and 


they did it anyway!


Calling someone to forgiveness does not


obligate us to subject ourselves to the same


 mean-spirited, toxic individuals who look 


for our flaws, delight in our pain and suffering,


 and are deeply offended by our joy and/or 


progress.


Forgiveness does not imply immediate reconciliation.



Some toxic relationships will need to be distanced 



or removed from our lives. Even if the offender has



already shut us out, we won't have to shut them out



 completely in many cases.




"They will be held accountable


by God," 


according to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30.


Trust is not a quick or painless 

process. 

It takes time and patience to 

begin to trust after heartbreak, 

betrayal, and being lied to and lied on.

The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months, 


even years after the fact. It is something people often get 


confused with or equate to forgiveness. 


Genuine trust doesn't develop 



overnight and neither should it. 



Trust is an ongoing process. It 



is not just given. It is shared 



and developed over time.

Some destructive abusers believe they 


must be right, negative, and demanding in 


order to keep the offended in an apologetic mode.


 Some of our naysayers appear to enjoy wrestling,


dragging, and browbeating us into their negative 


emotional drama. They treat negativity and drama


as if they were oxygen.


Some abusers are like pigs whose main goal is to 



get us as filthy as they are.



It has been said that we should...



 "Never wrestle with pigs. You 


both get dirty, and the pig 


likes it." 


This metaphorical adage cautions us not to


 start engaging, indulging, or plot against 


disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious critics.



If or when we do, we can expect to be smeared


 and dirtied.

In many cases, we must do 



ourselves a favor and love 



some people from a distance.


As we grow older, we become



 more aware of what we require 



and what we must circumvent.

Knowing when to let go and walk away from



 people and circumstances that threaten our 



peace of mind or produce unpleasant, poisonous,



 unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome 



spiritual drama is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Some people tend to believe that when 


someone does something hurtful to us, they


 are quick to assume that we must forgive and 


forget... that everything is fine... and that we


 can return to business as usual.



They are quick to assume... if the offender 


does not apologize or continues to harm us, 


our job is to ignore everything and turn the 


other cheek.

While God instructs us to forgive others,


 He never instructs us to continue to subject 


ourselves to those who have wounded us and


 violated our trust.



We do not have to tolerate, nor should we 


leave ourselves open to disrespect or abuse.


There is no reason to like being around 


mean-spirited people who hurt us.


Forgiveness and reconciliation are two very


different things. Reconciliation and restoration


 are ongoing processes. Forgiveness entails


 letting go of any resentment, bitterness, or


 vengeful attitude.



We can (and should) forgive those who sin

 

against us without becoming stuck in the pain.

Forgiveness does not make the past disappear. 


The wisdom from on high helps us understand


 that what the offender did was wrong. 



God has a way of demonstrating that we can't 


change the past. We can, however, accept 


situations in our lives as teachers, whether 


good, bad, or indifferent, who teach us lessons


 we would not have learned otherwise.



The main takeaway is to let go and let God be...


 regardless of the severity or number of wrongs 


committed against us by others. 



Always remember and never forget:


A festering soul wound allows Satan and his 


robbing, destructive evils to enter. Let us not 


leave any room for rage/Satan to take us hostage.



Forgiving teaches us about 


God's heart. 


On a human level, we are completely justified


 in being upset, angry, and disheartened, but those


 feelings, emotions, and anger are not what God


 intended for our souls.



Let us forgive so that we can fully embrace our 


calling. Forgiveness is not solely about the other 


person. Forgiveness is synonymous with soul 


healing.



Whatever the offender has done, we can reclaim


 our peace of mind, creative energy, joy, and 


personal power when we forgive them and let 


go of any negative emotions we may have.

Forgiveness comes from God. 


When we forgive others... it is much 


like an earthly reflection of God.

 


In His Love,

carolecgood@carolecgood.com
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