Forgiveness is a central part 

of God’s heart.

God’s forgiveness is never-ending, and God's forgiveness 


is as constant as our need for forgiveness. God's 


forgiveness is not conditional, wavering, or subject to 


being embezzled or misappropriated. God's forgiveness is 


total and complete.

One of the greatest attributes of Jesus 


is His forgiving heart.


On the cross… Jesus said… 



"Forgive them… 



for they know not what they do."

Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He 


became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.

Jesus forgave those who had wronged Him and did not 


become a slave to hurt feelings and resentments. 


Ultimately, the path to healing is to follow Jesus' example.


When someone we love hurts us... the gravity of


physical and/or verbal wounds can stay open and leave 


one with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness, resentments, 


and even thoughts of hateful counter-blows. These 


emotions can take root and destroy one's peace of mind, 


body, and soul.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,


but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:


 ‘It is mine to avenge; 


I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 


Romans 12:19 

We must make a decision to forgive from the heart


regardless of the offenses and regardless of the lack of 


remorse of the offending party. We must forgive simply 


because we have been forgiven by God in Jesus Christ, 


and because we do not want to leave any open doors for 


the tormenting works of Satan.

Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen process


by which the injured and/or wounded party experiences a 


change in heart and attitude regarding an offense. 


It liberates us from negative-immobilizing-emotions such 


as bitterness, rage, and vicious-vindictive-maliciousness. 



God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us.


This releasing paves the way to greater understanding, 


greater intelligence, as well as... peace of mind, 


body, and spirit.



One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity is when we 


are able to let go of negative emotions and allow the


higher self to wish the offender well... even if the 


relationship is never reconciled. 

There will be times when others commit wrongs 


against us.

Some destructive abusers feel like they have to be right, 


negative, demanding, and keep the offended stuck in an

 

apologetic mode. Some of our critics seem to love to 


wrestle, drag, and brow beat us into their 


negative-emotional-drama. They treat negativity and 


drama like it's oxygen.


Some abusers are like pigs whose main desire is to get us 


just as grimy and dirty as they are.

Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bernard Shaw


 have all been cited as saying it best...


"Never wrestle with pigs. You both get 


dirty and the pig likes it." 

This metaphorical adage warns us not to engage, wallow


or plot against disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious 


critics. If or when we do... we can expect to possibly be 


smeared, dirtied up and/or contaminated.

Our critics can often leave us feeling a 


little apprehensive about forgiving. 


They can be quick to misunderstand or 


outright reject us.



Some of us are made to believe or 


feel that forgiveness means 


pretending the offense never happened,



condoning the offense by wiping the 



slate clean, or allowing others to take


 

advantage of us and once again expose



 ourselves to what could be the same 



rude, devilishinconsiderate, 



emotionally toxic, mean-spirited, 



unreasonable behavior and trusting 



them again.


 

To the contrary... 



forgiveness does not mean minimizing 



the wrong, denying reality, or 



forgetting and excusing the harm or 



hurt done to us. 



Forgiveness brings a kind of peace 



that helps us to go on with life and 



not get swallowed up by bitterness 



or a sense of injustice.



Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness 


is based on grace... not our works. 


God closely watches all mankind, 


and God is able to bless us with


 mercies for each of our woes. 


With God we are able to pass safely 


through the sea of distress and 


forgive those who have wronged us. 


God is able to control, overcome, 


quiet, and subdue our enemies.




When our intentions are pure... we 


are genuinely able to embrace


 forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness 


paves the way for our emotional, 


Spiritual, and physical healing.



Forgiveness does not diminish


 us... contrarily... forgiveness grows us.


 It actually works like fertilizer to 


repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and 


revive us. It is great medicine for the 


mind and soul. 


Anytime we undergo something 


difficult... it helps us to become 


a better person... even when it hurts.



Unforgiveness hinders us. It ties us 


down to past hurts and robs us of 


the full life God intends for us.



Withholding forgiveness carries with 

it heaviness of mind, body, and spirit 

and it often hurts us more than it hurts 

the offender


The heaviness of unforgiveness can 

fester into bitter thoughts and actions. 


Those bitter roots can rise up and 


leave openings for Satan to derail us. 




We help ourselves most... when we 


stop nursing the offense. Let us resist 


the devil in his attempt to poison 


our spirit with bitterness.

 


 God has the benefit of being able to 


see into our hearts to measure the 


sincerity of our remorse. When we 


humbly cry out to God... 


God allows us to let go, lead the 


change, and move forward with 


lighter heart and greater peace.

 


Forgiveness releases us from the 


heavy and burdensome clutches 


of resentment, depression, and 


possibly high blood pressure.



Yes, forgiveness is grace extended 


to the offender, but it is more 


important for us... than the 


offender. 



Forgiveness can put the darkness 


behind us and keep us from being 


consumed with anger. It can set us free 


from the hurt and/or harm caused by 


another. It can loosen the clutches 


of grudges, stress, and bitterness.

 


When we forgive and relinquish the 


right to seek personal revenge... we 


can sleep in peace and wake up every 


morning with joy and lightness in our


hearts. 



This in and of itself can help maintain 


and/or restore our peace of mind and 


improve our overall health and well 


being. 

However legally or morally justified we might feel or be, 


rather than allowing bitterness and anger to pollute our 


physical, mental, and spiritual well-being... 


we can forgive the offender and release the burden and 


realize greater peace in our soul. 

We can forgive even if we never can get along 


with them again.

There is quite a bit of misinformation which does not truly 


or completely represent the facts or reality of how the 


sincere process of forgiveness works. 


We often believe that forgiveness and the healing of 


wounds should be instantaneous, but that is not 


necessarily so. 

Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through 


different lenses, but it’s not the Healer, God is.


We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or 


sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean 


we haven’t forgiven the person.

Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior 


or declare that person is justified or not guilty of 


wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do 


with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that 


frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.  


When we let go and let God be God over the situation... 


the weight of anxiety, and grappling with hurt feelings, 


and the harm inflicted upon us... will be lifted from us.


May we all come to realize that nothing is served 


by lording unforgiveness over another's head.

There are many who feel like they haven't fully forgiven 


because their trust hasn't been restored. 


To the contrary, one must earn trust, 


not expect it.


The offender has to be willing to pay the price by dealing 


with the consequences of their actions.



Yes, we should be cautious of those who knew we 


would be hurt... and they did it anyway!

Trust is not a quick or painless 

process. 

It takes time and patience to 

begin to trust after heartbreak, 

betrayal, and being lied to and lied on.

The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months, 


even years after the fact. It is something people often get 


confused with or equate to forgiveness. 

Genuine trust doesn't happen 


overnight and neither should it. 


Trust is a process. It is not just given.

 

It is shared and developed over 


time. 


Trust is like a seed. As a seed sprouts up and becomes 


strong... it begins to enmesh the people in the relationship.


Calling someone to forgiveness does not mean that we 


must subject ourselves to the same mean-spirited, 


toxic individuals who search for our faults, take 


pleasure in our pain and suffering, and are deeply angered 


by our joy and/or progress. 


Forgiveness does not mean instant reconciliation.


Some toxic relationships around us will need to be distant 


or removed. In many cases we won’t have to shut the 


offender all the way out, even if the offender 


has already shut us out. 


According to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30, 


"They will be held accountable by God."

We must, in many cases, do ourselves a favor 


and love some people from a distance.

Spiritual maturity is knowing when to let go and walk 


away from people and circumstances that threaten our 


peace of mind, produce unpleasant, poisonous,


 unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome 


spiritual drama.

Some people generally think:


When someone does something that is hurtful to us,


these are mainly those people on the sidelines, they can be 


quick to expect that we need to forgive and forget... all is 


well... and we can go back to business as usual.


They are quick to assume... if the offender is not sorry or 


continues to hurt us, our job is to overlook everything 


and turn the other cheek.

While God commands us to forgive others, God never told 


us to keep subjecting ourselves to those who have 


wounded us and violated our trust.


We don't have to tolerate, nor should we keep ourselves 

open to lack of respect or any form of abuse.

There is no suggestion that we should like being 


around mean-spirited people who hurt us.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. 


Reconciliation and restoration is a process. Forgiveness is 


surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a vengeful attitude.


We can (and should) forgive those who sin against us and 


not get stuck in the pain.



God's Will is justice, and justice will 


prevail.


Forgiveness does not depend on the 


behavior or repentance of the offender. 


Forgiveness is handing justice over


to God. It is the returning to God the 


right to take care of justice.



Forgiveness only takes one... that's us!

Forgiveness is something that takes 

place between the one who has been 

hurt and God. It is best to sincerely 

forgive the offender, in our heart,


before God.



We don't always have to tell the offender 


we have forgiven them.

 

BEWARE:


Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to 


someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a


 manipulation to make them feel guilty. 


It also is a form of pride.



We forgive, not to set the offender free – 


only God can save people. We forgive because 


God wants to set us free!


“Forgiveness is the fragrance 


that the violet sheds on the heel 


that has crushed it.”


― Mark Twain

Forgiveness does not change the past, 


but in forgiving, we learn about the heart of God.



We might be completely justified on a human level to be


upset, angry, and embittered, but those feelings, emotions, 


and anger are not what God intended for our souls.



Let us forgive 


so that we can, whole-heartedly walk in our calling.



Forgiveness does not involve the other person, exclusively.


Forgiving means the healing 


of our soul. 



Whatever the offender has done... when we forgive them


and let go of negative emotions, if any, 


we can reclaim our peace of mind, 


our creative energy, our joy, and personal power... 


and that is huge!

Forgiveness comes from God. 


When we forgive others... it is much 


like an earthly reflection of God. 


In His Love,



Carole C. Good

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