Forgiveness is a central part 

of God’s heart.

God’s forgiveness is never-ending, and God's forgiveness 

is as constant as our need for forgiveness. God's 

forgiveness is not conditional, wavering, or subject to 

being embezzled or misappropriated. God's forgiveness is 

total and complete.

One of the greatest attributes of Jesus 

is His forgiving heart.

On the cross… Jesus said… 

"Forgive them… 

for they know not what they do."

Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when He 

became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for us.

Jesus forgave those who had wronged Him and did not 

become a slave to hurt feelings and resentments. 

Ultimately, the path to healing is to follow Jesus' example.

When someone we love hurts us... the gravity of

physical and/or verbal wounds can stay open and leave 

one with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness, resentments, 

and even thoughts of hateful counter-blows. These 

emotions can take root and destroy one's peace of mind, 

body, and soul.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends,

but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:

 ‘It is mine to avenge; 

I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 

Romans 12:19 

We must make a decision to forgive from the heart

regardless of the offenses and regardless of the lack of 

remorse of the offending party. We must forgive simply 

because we have been forgiven by God in Jesus Christ, 

and because we do not want to leave any open doors for 

the tormenting works of Satan.

Forgiveness is defined as the willful and chosen process

by which the injured and/or wounded party experiences a 

change in heart and attitude regarding an offense. 

It liberates us from negative-immobilizing-emotions such 

as bitterness, rage, and vicious-vindictive-maliciousness. 

God is able to help us forgive those who hurt us.

This releasing paves the way to greater understanding, 

greater intelligence, as well as... peace of mind, 

body, and spirit.

One of the higher marks of Spiritual maturity is when we 

are able to let go of negative emotions and allow the

higher self to wish the offender well... even if the 

relationship is never reconciled. 

There will be times when others commit wrongs 

against us.

Some destructive abusers feel like they have to be right, 

negative, demanding, and keep the offended stuck in an


apologetic mode. Some of our critics seem to love to 

wrestle, drag, and brow beat us into their 

negative-emotional-drama. They treat negativity and 

drama like it's oxygen.

Some abusers are like pigs whose main desire is to get us 

just as grimy and dirty as they are.

Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bernard Shaw

 have all been cited as saying it best...

"Never wrestle with pigs. You both get 

dirty and the pig likes it." 

This metaphorical adage warns us not to engage, wallow

or plot against disrespectful, dirty-hearted, malicious 

critics. If or when we do... we can expect to possibly be 

smeared, dirtied up and/or contaminated.

Our critics can often leave us feeling a 

little apprehensive about forgiving. 

They can be quick to misunderstand or 

outright reject us.

Some of us are made to believe or 

feel that forgiveness means 

pretending the offense never happened,

condoning the offense by wiping the 

slate clean, or allowing others to take


advantage of us and once again expose

 ourselves to what could be the same 

rude, devilishinconsiderate, 

emotionally toxic, mean-spirited, 

unreasonable behavior and trusting 

them again.


To the contrary... 

forgiveness does not mean minimizing 

the wrong, denying reality, or 

forgetting and excusing the harm or 

hurt done to us. 

Forgiveness brings a kind of peace 

that helps us to go on with life and 

not get swallowed up by bitterness 

or a sense of injustice.

Mighty warriors of God, forgiveness 

is based on grace... not our works. 

God closely watches all mankind, 

and God is able to bless us with

 mercies for each of our woes. 

With God we are able to pass safely 

through the sea of distress and 

forgive those who have wronged us. 

God is able to control, overcome, 

quiet, and subdue our enemies.

When our intentions are pure... we 

are genuinely able to embrace

 forgiveness and move on. Forgiveness 

paves the way for our emotional, 

Spiritual, and physical healing.

Forgiveness does not diminish

 us... contrarily... forgiveness grows us.

 It actually works like fertilizer to 

repair us, restore us, rebuild us, and 

revive us. It is great medicine for the 

mind and soul. 

Anytime we undergo something 

difficult... it helps us to become 

a better person... even when it hurts.

Unforgiveness hinders us. It ties us 

down to past hurts and robs us of 

the full life God intends for us.

Withholding forgiveness carries with 

it heaviness of mind, body, and spirit 

and it often hurts us more than it hurts 

the offender

The heaviness of unforgiveness can 

fester into bitter thoughts and actions. 

Those bitter roots can rise up and 

leave openings for Satan to derail us. 

We help ourselves most... when we 

stop nursing the offense. Let us resist 

the devil in his attempt to poison 

our spirit with bitterness.


 God has the benefit of being able to 

see into our hearts to measure the 

sincerity of our remorse. When we 

humbly cry out to God... 

God allows us to let go, lead the 

change, and move forward with 

lighter heart and greater peace.


Forgiveness releases us from the 

heavy and burdensome clutches 

of resentment, depression, and 

possibly high blood pressure.

Yes, forgiveness is grace extended 

to the offender, but it is more 

important for us... than the 


Forgiveness can put the darkness 

behind us and keep us from being 

consumed with anger. It can set us free 

from the hurt and/or harm caused by 

another. It can loosen the clutches 

of grudges, stress, and bitterness.


When we forgive and relinquish the 

right to seek personal revenge... we 

can sleep in peace and wake up every 

morning with joy and lightness in our


This in and of itself can help maintain 

and/or restore our peace of mind and 

improve our overall health and well 


However legally or morally justified we might feel or be, 

rather than allowing bitterness and anger to pollute our 

physical, mental, and spiritual well-being... 

we can forgive the offender and release the burden and 

realize greater peace in our soul. 

We can forgive even if we never can get along 

with them again.

There is quite a bit of misinformation which does not truly 

or completely represent the facts or reality of how the 

sincere process of forgiveness works. 

We often believe that forgiveness and the healing of 

wounds should be instantaneous, but that is not 

necessarily so. 

Forgiveness can help us look at our wounds through 

different lenses, but it’s not the Healer, God is.

We can forgive someone and still feel the pain, hurt, or 

sting from their actions years later, but that doesn’t mean 

we haven’t forgiven the person.

Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse the behavior 

or declare that person is justified or not guilty of 

wrongdoing. Forgiveness does not have anything to do 

with accepting bad behavior. It is a spiritual discipline that 

frees us and releases us from the baggage of negativity.  

When we let go and let God be God over the situation... 

the weight of anxiety, and grappling with hurt feelings, 

and the harm inflicted upon us... will be lifted from us.

May we all come to realize that nothing is served 

by lording unforgiveness over another's head.

There are many who feel like they haven't fully forgiven 

because their trust hasn't been restored. 

To the contrary, one must earn trust, 

not expect it.

The offender has to be willing to pay the price by dealing 

with the consequences of their actions.

Yes, we should be cautious of those who knew we 

would be hurt... and they did it anyway!

Trust is not a quick or painless 


It takes time and patience to 

begin to trust after heartbreak, 

betrayal, and being lied to and lied on.

The shockwaves of a betrayal can reverberate for months, 

even years after the fact. It is something people often get 

confused with or equate to forgiveness. 

Genuine trust doesn't happen 

overnight and neither should it. 

Trust is a process. It is not just given.


It is shared and developed over 


Trust is like a seed. As a seed sprouts up and becomes 

strong... it begins to enmesh the people in the relationship.

Calling someone to forgiveness does not mean that we 

must subject ourselves to the same mean-spirited, 

toxic individuals who search for our faults, take 

pleasure in our pain and suffering, and are deeply angered 

by our joy and/or progress. 

Forgiveness does not mean instant reconciliation.

Some toxic relationships around us will need to be distant 

or removed. In many cases we won’t have to shut the 

offender all the way out, even if the offender 

has already shut us out. 

According to Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30, 

"They will be held accountable by God."

We must, in many cases, do ourselves a favor 

and love some people from a distance.

Spiritual maturity is knowing when to let go and walk 

away from people and circumstances that threaten our 

peace of mind, produce unpleasant, poisonous,

 unwholesome, unnecessary, and/or unwelcome 

spiritual drama.

Some people generally think:

When someone does something that is hurtful to us,

these are mainly those people on the sidelines, they can be 

quick to expect that we need to forgive and forget... all is 

well... and we can go back to business as usual.

They are quick to assume... if the offender is not sorry or 

continues to hurt us, our job is to overlook everything 

and turn the other cheek.

While God commands us to forgive others, God never told 

us to keep subjecting ourselves to those who have 

wounded us and violated our trust.

We don't have to tolerate, nor should we keep ourselves 

open to lack of respect or any form of abuse.

There is no suggestion that we should like being 

around mean-spirited people who hurt us.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. 

Reconciliation and restoration is a process. Forgiveness is 

surrendering any anger, bitterness, or a vengeful attitude.

We can (and should) forgive those who sin against us and 

not get stuck in the pain.

God's Will is justice, and justice will 


Forgiveness does not depend on the 

behavior or repentance of the offender. 

Forgiveness is handing justice over

to God. It is the returning to God the 

right to take care of justice.

Forgiveness only takes one... that's us!

Forgiveness is something that takes 

place between the one who has been 

hurt and God. It is best to sincerely 

forgive the offender, in our heart,

before God.

We don't always have to tell the offender 

we have forgiven them.



Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to 

someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a

 manipulation to make them feel guilty. 

It also is a form of pride.

We forgive, not to set the offender free – 

only God can save people. We forgive because 

God wants to set us free!

“Forgiveness is the fragrance 

that the violet sheds on the heel 

that has crushed it.”

― Mark Twain

Forgiveness does not change the past, 

but in forgiving, we learn about the heart of God.

We might be completely justified on a human level to be

upset, angry, and embittered, but those feelings, emotions, 

and anger are not what God intended for our souls.

Let us forgive 

so that we can, whole-heartedly walk in our calling.

Forgiveness does not involve the other person, exclusively.

Forgiving means the healing 

of our soul. 

Whatever the offender has done... when we forgive them

and let go of negative emotions, if any, 

we can reclaim our peace of mind, 

our creative energy, our joy, and personal power... 

and that is huge!

Forgiveness comes from God. 

When we forgive others... it is much 

like an earthly reflection of God. 

In His Love,

Carole C. Good

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