Have you ever been in a conversation with someone 


and not actually listened to what they were saying 


because you were too busy assembling your response?


Have you ever found yourself mindlessly saying


“Uh huh” when someone was trying to tell you something? 


Listening is not a passive process.

Many people do suffer from ADD; however, we live in a culture


 where attention deficit disorder has become the norm for some.

We've all experienced how frustrating it can be to have


 someone not listen to our thoughts, acknowledge our pain, 


or just consider our perspective and let us know they care.


Many people treat conversations like a competition, seeking to


 control the conversation to determine who can make the deepest, 


brightest, wisest, most intellectual points or wield, allegedly, the 


most superior information.

Finishing sentences for others and interrupting sends the


 message that what you have to express is more important than


what they have to say, which can diminish the speaker's confidence


 and relevance.

Allowing the other to finish their thought before forming 


a response is critical to excellent listening.


If you need to move the conversation forward, 


say something like,


 "Excuse me, I'm very sorry for interrupting,


 but..." Similarly, avoid jumping to conclusions or assuming you 


know what hasn't yet been mentioned.


Trying to persuade others without fully listening to their point


 of view might often cut our blessings short. Who knows, one 


might learn something that changes their perspective... even 


their lives.


Some people will lose out on a plethora of data because


 they are preoccupied with how to reply to or interrupt 


the speaker. This type of conversation is highly 


problematic! It has tremendous pitfalls!

Two of the most difficult lessons in life are to listen closely... 


and to bend low the ear of the heart.


The Scriptures teaches us to... 


be ready to listen, and slow to speak.


One of the reasons many of us are eager to speak next


 is that silence between speakers makes some people feel


 awkward.

We should avoid steering others down a 


rabbit hole by asking or making comments


 that are unrelated to the topic at hand.

Kindly allow others to completely clarify their stance, 


concern, etc. before responding. Instead of waiting for an 


opportunity to speak, let us endeavor to understand.

Listening is often more beneficial than speaking.


Listening demonstrates humility. Saying less and listening


 more will help you become more intellectual, caring, and


 productive.



We are more aware, perceptive, and able to think clearly 


when our minds are quiet.



When we are attentive, we are providing something significant,


 valuable, and appreciated to the one who is speaking. The 


individual doing the talking will feel understood and appreciated.




When people are not bothered with speaking, their emphasis


 and attention is usually on listening. They may hear a variety 


of things and obtain unexpected insights.



Listening to God and listening to others were both essential


 skills for Jesus. Jesus was fully present with those He came into 


contact with. Jesus purposefully focused His attention on the


 people.



Listening to truly understand and waiting for the individual to 


finish their narrative are two of the most useful things we can do 


for each other.



In allowing people to speak their experiences, Jesus was gentle 


and patient. Jesus was compassionate. He also paid close attention


 to what was not mentioned.



Jesus wept with them and was present in their anguish. Jesus


 realized that listening with His ears and His heart was the finest 


way to minister to people.



People in crisis, grief, or pain seek the attention from one who 


listens with their ears and their hearts.

James 1:19 gives us a Scriptural example,

 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be 

swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” 

The Scriptures encourages us to be quick to hear

 and slow to speak.

When we're talking, we're not usually 


listening much, and we're not always 


learning much either.

A good listener gets to learn something.

It can be incredibly beneficial to listen more and say less.


We win the respect and trust of those with whom we 


converse, and when we talk, we command attention.



It doesn't mean we're thinking less, but quieting our tongues 


and minds can lead to an increase in information and knowledge 


flow. With increased sensitivity and awareness, our thoughts 


might become clearer and more stimulated. These are the benefits


 of cultivating inner and outer silence.



It can be difficult to remain aware of what is going on around


 us when we are constantly talking. We hear more when we 


talk less. 



The more we listen, the more we understand how much we don't 


know and how much we need to know. The humility that comes 


with it is a true sign of wisdom and enlightenment.

We should feel deeply honored when someone invites us in 


to be a part of understanding the experiences they have lived 


or are living. It is a great gift of trust that we should never take


 for granted.


We should always hold everything one has said in the strictest 


of confidence, even if the speaker has not requested it. People

 

are sometimes open and vulnerable in times of crisis and


 nothing they say needs to be repeated outside of the 


confidence in which they have spoken to us.


A positively good parable for living life is the Golden Rule:

"Do unto others what you would have

 them do unto you."

Listening is essential in relationships. It is also 


important that we listen with our hearts to hear 


what is not being said; to see what feelings and 


needs are really being conveyed. 



To listen allows us to walk through the experience


 of another's life.

It is interesting that in James 1:19, James' opening 


exhortation is... 


“Be quick to listen, slow to speak,


 and slow to get angry.” 



This follows the same sequence that Luke uses 


after presenting the parable of the sower. 


"Whoever has ears to hear, 



let them hear."


Luke 8:8


Jesus follows it with the exhortation, 


“Consider carefully how you listen.” 


Luke 8:18 


In Matthew (13:9), Jesus immediately follows the


 parable with, 


“Whoever has ears, let them hear.”


We should even wait a moment before we begin to respond.


This gives the speaker a chance to add anything else they 


may have thought of.



By waiting an additional moment before we reply we also 


let the speaker know they have been heard completely.



If we practice this for a time people will relax when 


conversing with us because they will know that they 


don’t have to rush to get their point across.



They will appreciate the fact that they can 


communicate with us and be heard and respected.


Effective listening develops empathy,


which is the capacity for a deep understanding


of another's experience.


We should sincerely work to understand one's message;


and ask relevant, open-ended questions to clarify


and learn more, i.e., (“What do you mean by that?” 


or “When did that happen?…”) this may help us stay


 involved.

Not interrupting gives the speaker 


a sense of importance, and it is the 


respectful thing to do.

May we listen with the genuine intent to understand 


what the speaker is communicating. "It is better to 


listen in order to understand... than to listen in order to 


reply."


May we be more receptive to the speaker’s needs –


they may just need us to listen, and not try to fix the 


problem.



Sometimes being listened to is


 enough.

“We have two ears and one mouth


so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

Are you listening for understanding,


or are you focused more on what you 


are going to say next? 


As the other person is speaking, are you 


 not actually listening to much of what 


the other person is saying, or are you


busy crafting your response?



To gain greater insight, let us focus 

our attention on listening more.

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing,


a creative force.

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and 


interpret messages in the communication process. 


Listening is key to all effective communication. 


Without the ability to listen effectively, 


messages are easily misunderstood.




Listening is Not the Same as 


Hearing.


Listening requires focus and concentrated effort.


Listening means paying attention not only to the story, 


but how it is told.


Listening is an under valued art. 


Constantly talking isn’t necessarily...



communicating.

Paying attention



 is the cardinal rule for good listening.

* Pay attention to sound


* Hear with thoughtful attention


* Be considerate

The most basic and powerful way to connect 


to another person is to listen... 


just listen.

"No one is as deaf as the person


who will not listen."

Tips for being a good listener:



Maintain good eye contact. 


When we don't look someone in the eyes, 


it can come off as being arrogant, untrustworthy,


 disingenuous, or stand-offish. 



Our outward behavior can speak volumes and even create 


discomfort. Crossed arms can send the wrong message. 


Studies have shown that the subtleties of body language, tone,


 and posturing accounts for a huge part of how information is


 communicated or miscommunicated.


Let us cultivate the right demeanor. 




Listen with all senses and seriously concentrate and consider 


what is being said. Ask questions, when there is a pause, that


 takes the conversation deeper. Do not interrupt or speak over 


someone who is talking.


Nodding aggressively when someone is talking to you 

 indicates you are impatient and want the speaker to finish 

speaking quickly! This makes other people feel invalidated 

and rushed. Instead, let us gently and occasionally, nod 

our head to indicate agreement and interest in what the

 other person is telling us.


Let us PRAY for the gift of a 

listening heart.

"Wise men talk because they have something to say," 


Plato once said. "Fools, because they have to say 


something." We can all become better communicators


if... we train ourselves to listen more.


To put more effort into listening


and less into telling


 is very rewarding.




Listen...

We earn the right to be heard 


by sincerely listening to others.