Misunderstandings, regardless 

of their cause, can seriously harm 

relationships if they are not 

addressed promptly.

The longer we wait to address a misunderstanding,

 the more difficult it is to resolve. If we don't

 clear up our misunderstandings in a timely

 manner, they may become the justification for 

future distance.

Misunderstandings are common and usually

harmless, but they can create friction

 and disputes. 

Perhaps someone misunderstood what we said 

and is now upset with us. Perhaps they heard

 our comments perfectly, but misinterpreted them. 

Or perhaps they misinterpreted our silence in a 

way that contradicted the message we were trying 

to convey.

I  appeal to you, brothers, 

to watch out for those who cause divisions

 and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine 

that you have been taught;

 avoid them.

Proverbs 6:16-19

We may try to appear to others in a certain way, 

but most people see us in a completely different light. 

This is one of the most fundamental issues facing


People are frequently unaware that they are not 

coming across as they believe they are.

There can be a significant difference between

 how others perceive us and how we perceive 


Is There A Pink Elephant

In The Living Room?

Misunderstandings and differences of opinion 

occur even among the best of us; however, if not 

addressed quickly and effectively, they can 

lead to serious confrontations and/or the 

destruction of relationships.

Misunderstandings can take many forms, such

 as a quick look, a comment that someone 

thought they heard and now angry about. It 

could have been a failure to communicate, 

or a failure to comprehend or see another's

point of view.

We may react angrily to relatively innocent 

statements, because another voice in our head

is speaking to us.

Miscommunications are common in social conflicts.

Conflicting parties communicate with one another 

through what they say, do, or do not say, as well as 

their actions toward one another.

Even normal conversations can result in

 misunderstandings, but misunderstandings appear 

to exacerbate the problem.

When two people disagree, it is common for them 

to make negative assumptions about "the other."

 As a result, a comment that appeared innocent when

 two people were friends may appear aggressive 

or threatening when the same people disagree.

Misinterpretations result in accusations and

 conflicts, which eventually leads to war. The 

sender has a message they want to deliver and 

puts it in terms that best express what they are 

thinking, but a variety of factors can occur to 

prevent the intended message from being

correctly received.

Satan is a master at causing misunderstandings.

Satan will take our words out of the air, twist 

them sinisterly, and hurl them at their intended 

target... there will be no clear communication... 

the original message will be unrecognizable.

It would be naive to believe that when there is 

confusion, temptation, division, accusations,

 misunderstandings, and lies... Satan and his 

diabolical wrecking crew are not on the scene 

wreaking havoc with their voices of 


Every way of a man is right in his 

own eyes, but God ponders the heart.

Proverbs 21:2

Only God knows what’s in our hearts, but He 

would be happy to tell us if we asked.

We gain an understanding of what motivates others

 when we listen to their viewpoints with an open mind, 

and this breeds mutual respect, even if we don't 

agree in the end.

Taking matters into our own hands before 

seeking God's guidance in pursuing righteous

 behavior can have disastrous consequences

 for everyone.

We often speak up before our brains can

 send a cease and desist order to our tongues...

 and we almost always come to regret it.

Once we say something, there is no way to 

get it back…we can’t recall it… it's out there. 

It's easy to let our emotions run wild at times, 

especially when there is turmoil and uncertainty.

We are quick to anger and speak... but slow to

 truly listen to the perspective of another. As a 

result, we let our frustrations permeate our 

conversations, and before you know it, 

it's all over social media!

 Once our words are in the air, Satan, the 

"prince of the air," uses those powerful 

weapons against us. Satan knows exactly 

how to agitate the situation.

Satan, our adversary, tries to overwhelm us

 with his illogical, accusing spirit. His power

 over the receivers could cause major squabbles!

Misunderstandings are a powerful tool that Satan

can use to divide people. Many quarrels are 

frivolous... not because people are frivolous, 

but because Satan attempts to pit us against each


The devil's favorite tactic is to

 stir the pot and create confusion.

"The thief's sole purpose

 is to steal, kill, and destroy."

Satan wields power over some people; he is a 

corrupting force that intentionally causes pain,

 harm, and danger. He spreads misinformation

in order to enrage others! He will instigate

 people to destroy and/or murder one another.

He is both clever and divisive.

The enemy, Satan, wishes to gain access to our 

minds and hearts, as well as a stronghold in our 

affairs, in order to keep people divided through

 exaggerated misunderstandings. He enjoys

 watching miscommunications turn into gossip,

 jealousy, envy, greed, and various ideological 

and religious conflicts.

Satan wishes to have complete control over 

people's lives. He convinces willing spirits of 

what and how they should think. Satan positions 

himself to appeal to or appease both the left and 

right wing. He will employ deceptive power 

tactics and purposefully mischaracterize people in 

order to murder the spirit, kill the truth, assassinate 

one's character, or outright murder another.

Satan is an evil liar and instigator. He feeds on 

other people's negative energy. He is poisonous,

emotionally destructive, and cunning enough to

 pretend to take people where he wants them to go 

while tricking them into thinking they are steering


The devil is a skilled agitator. He is notorious 

for tearing families apart and severing the ties 

that hold them together. He clearly enjoys inciting

 strife and hostility... creating fights and tearing 

apart close family and communities.

He enjoys making other people look like idiots

 and then laughing at them. Satan enjoys stirring

 the pot by repeatedly pressing the replay button.

Return to James 1:20. "Be slow to become angry,

" the author advises, "since human indignation 

does not produce the righteousness that 

God seeks."

We all become annoyed. However, we are less

 inclined to say anything that is harmful to a

 relationship... if we allow ourselves time to cool

 off before responding.

These things actually require intention. 

We have to determine ahead of time whether

 or not to do them.

We must guard ourselves against anyone

 who is an instigating false witness.We must 

be cautious of anyone who encourages false 

testimony. We should also keep our tongues 

from moving faster than our minds. Let us

 remember that various people interpret different 

figures of speech.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them

 that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and

 pray for them which despitefully use you, and 

persecute you.

Matthew 5:44
Being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow

 to anger makes for a peaceful existence.

We are engaged in an invisible spiritual battle 

with a cruel enemy. He is shrewd, crafty,

cunning, rude, controlling, subtle, 

malicious, and dangerous. 

Satan is a real enemy who prowls the earth

 looking for someone to devour.

He is evil and will go to any length to gain 

new territory so that he can have a profound 

influence on the human sphere by leading 

God's people astray.

So, why do godly people quarrel?

The simple truth is that none of us are perfect,

 and the devil works around the clock to cause us to

 quarrel and even have people fighting, killing, 

and bathing in their own blood... that's Satan's

 job, and he works... nonstop.

The devil enjoys watching us argue with one 

another. He's the one who tells us what the other

 person is like... and why he or she does... or 

doesn't do... something.

Let us not be duped by Satan!

Many of our disagreements stem from different 

points of view and a lack of mutual understanding 

of those points of view.

To move forward, both parties must have a clear

 understanding. First, we should try to understand 

the other person's perspective.

One method is to pay attention and sincerely 

attempt to understand their concerns.

Pretending to listen while dismissing what they

 say in our heads will exacerbate the situation. 

Quarrels have the power to divide and separate 


Satan is a highly divisive being, and one of his 

oldest tactics is to... 

"divide and conquer."

Satan realizes that if he can keep us divided, 

he can keep us in a constant state of conflict.

From a Biblical standpoint, we recognize

 that no one is perfect; however, we are 

so quick to misunderstand a single action to

 the detriment of our very soul.

When we believe that someone has committed

 a wrong toward us, we frequently play the role 

of prosecutor, judge, and jury.

Some disagreements occur when people 

complain that others are not doing... what "they" 

are doing.

Jesus likened people to children playing in

 the street, demanding that others should do 

as they did... dance when they danced... and 

mourn when they mourned.


To put it another way, what people see in others 

reflects the unconscious aspects of themselves 

that their ego is either unaware of or unwilling 

to acknowledge.

Some people believe that what they do and how 

they do it is correct and that everyone else is 


Is that right?

Controlling people, who suppress and oppress

others, can be found everywhere. 

They are present at work, social gatherings, our 

families, and our personal relationships. In far 

too many cases, controlling people can have a 

much bigger impact than they should.

Controlling individuals frequently believe they 

understand how others think, even when they 

do not.

If we can't fully comprehend ourselves, how 

can we expect to comprehend the who, what, 

when, where, how, and why of others?

We must all agree that we have no means of 

understanding what is going on inside another 

person's head.

Controlling people may grow frustrated when

 their constructed image of another contradicts

 what the other person constantly says and who

 the other person truly is.

Even though we believe our intentions are pure 

and good, there may be things there... that we 

cannot see. We can be teachable and merciful 

to others if we recognize this.

People are so easily drawn into fights, even when 

they have no idea what they're fighting about! This

 is especially true when we have a prejudice against

 someone. Everything he or she says or does is then

 viewed negatively.

Some people can rant for hours if the other party does 

not respond, but it takes two to argue. Perhaps it is 

more accurate to say that if one man attempts to

quarrel and the other man does not respond in kind, 

the quarrel will lack the necessary fuel to be 

fanned up.

The more spiritually mature we are... the more we 

can contribute to peace by responding with gentleness 

and mercy.

"When a wise man has a controversy with a

 foolish man,there will be ranting and ridicule 

and no satisfaction"

 (Proverbs 29:9).

One of the most important considerations for

 disagreements is that it is extremely difficult 

for us humans to recognize our own imperfections.

We notice other people's faults but rarely our own 

when we interact with people. If only we could see

 our own flaws instead of focusing on the flaws of 


In the end, only God has the authority to pass 

judgment. God is aware of every detail about us.

God knows what we have and have not done.

God is aware of each of our specific handicaps, the

 specific temptations that we find difficult, our 

unique tendencies, the strengths He has given us, 

and the harm that the devil has caused us.

The individual who has seen himself in

 God's light becomes transformed. He loses

confidence in his own judgment and becomes 

slow in passing opinions and judgments.

He knows that there may be different ways 

of looking at things and doing things than

 what he is accustomed to. He strives to put

 himself in the shoes of others in order to 

understand how they feel.


May we always remember 

and never forget...

When we disagree with others, remember that 

we may have misread the entire situation.

We can also be gracious to others when we 

believe they have misunderstood us.

Jesus addresses His disciples personally in the 

eighteenth chapter of Matthew, describing the

 nature of our company and friendships.

If a God-fearing (Believer) brother or sister 

offends, angers, saddens, or wrongs us in any way, 

we are to confront them personally, one on one.

This method of problem resolution not only leads 

to forgiveness, but it also gracefully resolves issues.

The conversation can be conducted quietly, lovingly,

 and gracefully.

One could wonder why the subject is to be kept

 private between the two at first. Because our

 affection for our brother/sister necessitates it.

If we are really devoted to loving our brethren

 as Jesus commands (John 13:34), then even if a 

brother has sinned against us or wronged us, we 

will not want to purposefully harm that brother's

 credibility within the body... which could 

impede his restoration.

If this person's violation against the offended

 is spread throughout the body, although he later 

repents, many in the body will have already

judged this brother, and the allegations will 

have harmed their opinion of him.

By spreading our allegations against an offender, 

we create a consensus against them, making it 

difficult, if not almost impossible, to restore that

 person to the body if they repent and want to put 

things right.

Furthermore, many alleged trespasses are the 

consequence of "misunderstandings."

We must first examine the facts to determine 

whether or not a trespass has occurred.

This is another reason why we must first... go 

privately to the accused brother or sister... to 

confront them with the alleged crime and hear 

their side of the story.

If we tell our friends in the body about the offense, 

we may subsequently realize that it was all a

misunderstanding. But by then, our allegations

 will have harmed their reputation.

When we make the mistake of 

telling a third party first,

misunderstandings can emerge,

 souls may be lost, and Satan wins.

Let us endeavor to understand Satan's accusing 

nature and history, the evil one, the first con man.

Satan is constantly on the lookout for ways to sell

 us something he knows he will never be able to


Satan continues to deceive people by claiming 

that if they follow his lead... they will be happy or

 whatever else they want to hear.


Positively Good Visitors