Is There A Pink Elephant

 In The Living Room?

Misunderstandings and differences of opinion 

happen amongst the best of us.

 Misunderstandings can be a powerful weapon 

that Satan uses to divide people.

Misunderstandings come in many different forms...

such as: a look, a comment, failure to speak, etc. 

It would be naive to think 

that when we have Spiritual emergencies 

and there is confusion, temptation, division, 

accusations, misunderstandings, 

and lies that Satan and his diabolical destroying agency, 

with their voices of condemnation...

are not on the scene trying to wreak havoc. 

Satan, the adversary and enemy, tries to overwhelm us 

with his irrational, accusing spirit. 

Many quarrels are foolish... 

not necessarily because people are foolish, 

but because the devil makes fools of us 

and then sits back and laughs.

So, why do godly people quarrel?

The simple answer is... none of us are perfect,

and the devil is working night and day

to try and cause us to quarrel...

that's Satan's job and he is working... non-stop.

If the truth be told...

many of the problems we face with one another

 stem from having different perspectives 

and a lack of mutual understanding of those perspectives.

 In order to get past this,

there needs to be clear understanding on both sides. 

We should first try to understand the other 

person’s perspective.

 One way of accomplishing this 

is by paying attention and genuinely trying 

to understand their concerns. 

Pretending to listen while dismissing

 what they say in our heads...

will only add insult to the injury.


Quarrels can cause division... they can separate us. 

Satan is very divisive, 

and one of the oldest tricks in the book is to... 

"Divide and conquer."

Satan knows that he can keep us in 

a perpetual state of conflict...

as long as he can keep us divided.

You think Satan doesn't know this?

From a Biblical perspective we know that 

no one is perfect; yet, we are so quick

 to misconstrue a single action

 to the detriment of our very soul.

More often than not, we are the prosecutor,

 judge, and jury when we think that another  

has committed a wrong toward us.


Some quarrels arise because people complain

that others are not doing... what "THEY" are doing.

Jesus compared people to children playing in the street 

and demanding that others should do as they did...

dance when they danced... 

and mourn when they mourned


In other words,

we think that what we do is the right thing

and how we do it is the right way,

and anyone who does it differently from us is wrong!...

Is that right?

Controlling people are everywhere. 

We see them at work, social gatherings, 

in our family and in personal relationships. 

Controlling people can have a much bigger impact

 than they should.

Controlling people often assume that

 they understand how another thinks, 

even when they actually don't.

If we can't even understand ourselves fully,

 how can we think that we can understand 

the who, what, when, where, how, and why of others?

 All of us have to admit that we have no sure way 

of knowing what is going on inside anothers’ mind.

Controlling people may become frustrated 

because their constructed image of another 

is at odds with what the other person consistently says 

and who that other person really is.

Even when we think our intention is pure and good,

 there may be things there... that we're unable to see. 

If we see this, we can be teachable ourselves

 and merciful to others.

People so easily get caught up in quarrels 

even without really understanding 

what they're quarreling about!

This is especially true when we have 

a prejudice towards someone. 

Then whatever he or she says or does

 is seen in a bad light.

Some people can rage on and on 

even when the other party does not respond in kind, 

but it takes two people to quarrel. 

Perhaps it's more correct to say 

that if one man tries to quarrel

 and the other man doesn't respond in a similar way 

the quarrel will lack the necessary fuel 

to get fanned up.

The more mature we are... the more we can help

 in bringing peace by responding 

in a gentle and merciful manner.

"When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man,

there will be ranting and ridicule 

and no satisfaction"

 (Proverbs 29:9).

One of the greatest reasons we have for quarrels 

is that it is extremely difficult for us humans 

to see our own faults. 

When we deal with others we see their faults, 

but hardly any of our own. 

If only we could see our own faults, 

and stop getting worked up about the faults of others!

The bottom line is... 

only God has the right to judge.

 He knows everything about us.

 He knows what we've done, 

and what we've not done.

 God knows the particular handicaps each of us lives with,

the specific temptations we find difficult, 

our special tendencies, the strengths He has given us, 

and the damage the devil has caused us.

The one who has seen himself in God’s light

 becomes a different person. 

He loses confidence in his own assessment of things 

and becomes slow in passing opinions.

 He recognizes that there could be other ways 

of looking at things and other ways of doing things 

than what he is used to. 

He tries to put himself in other people’s shoes 

to understand how they feel. 

May we always remember 

and never forget...

He makes room for the others to be different from him.

The devil loves to see us quarreling with one another. 

He's the one whispering into our ears 

about what the other person is like... 

and why he or she is doing... or not doing something. 

Let us not be gullible before Satan.

When we have difficulties with others... let us remember

that we may have misunderstood the whole situation. 

Also we can be merciful to others 

when we feel they've misunderstood us.


In the eighteenth chapter of Matthew, 

Jesus talks directly to His followers to tell us 

what our fellowship and friendships are to be like. 

If a brother or sister in the faith hurts us, angers us, 

saddens us, or does us wrong in any way…

we are to go and talk to them about it directly, one on one.

Not only does this manner of working out difficulties

 lead to forgiveness, 

it also works things out in a graceful way.

 The talk can be done quietly…

lovingly... and gracefully.

One may ask... 

why is the matter to be first kept private between the two?

Because our love for our brother requires it. 

If we are sincerely committed to love for our brethren

as Jesus commands (John 13:34), 

then even if a brother has sinned against us 

or has done us wrong, we will not want to maliciously

injure that brother's credibility within the body — 

that might hinder his restoration. 

If this person's transgression against the offended is

 circulated within the body, but later he repents, 

many in the body will have already 

judged this brother and the accusations

 will have damaged their opinion of him. 

By spreading our accusation against an offending party, 

it builds a consensus against them and makes it difficult, 

if not nearly impossible, 

to restore that person to the body should they repent 

and desire to make things right. 

Also, many alleged trespasses between brethren 

are a result of "misunderstandings."

We need to first investigate the facts and find out for sure

whether a trespass has really occurred. 

This is another reason why we're to first go privately 

to the brother or sister in question... 

to confront them with the alleged offense 

and hear their side of the story. 

If we disclose the offense to friends in the body, 

we may later discover that the matter was 

only a misunderstanding. 

But by then, their reputation will have been damaged

by our allegations.

When we make the mistake of telling a third party first… 

misunderstandings can fester, 

and souls may be lost... and Satan triumphs. 

Let us try to understand the accusing nature 

and history of Satan, the evil one, the first con man. 

Satan is always on the prowl trying to sell us a product 

that he knows he could never provide.

Satan continues to lie to people by promising them 

that if they follow his lead…

they will be happy or whatever else they want to hear.

Positively Good Visitors